Rudy Can't Fail
by Lipton Lee
Summary: A Series of Season 5 phone conversations between our favorite diner boys
1. Default Chapter

A/N: I felt there was a bit of a scene missing from "Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller" well... there was a lot missing from said episode. In this gentle viewers eyes, it pretty much sucked. It was gross, stupid, and just not GG.

Disclaimer: Rudy Can't Fail is the Clash's. Play That Funky Music is Wild Cherry's, and the Ghostbusters theme is... Cory Hart? No.. that's... No. It's not mine! ASP owns the characters... sadness. Not mine.

Summary: A little missing scene from Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller

Spoilers: Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller

**Rudy Can't Fail**

Jess looked down at his cell phone. It was ringing. Well... not really ringing... it played 'Rudy Can't Fail' by The Clash when it rang.

He glanced at the number of his caller... and didn't recognize it.

He sighed and picked it up as he entered the old, run-down apartment complex that he unfortunately called home. "Hello?"

"Hey!"

Jess blinked as he pulled his keys out of the pocket of his jeans. "Who is this?"

"Who does it sound like, smart-ass?"

"Luke?"

"Yeah."

"You're not calling from your number," Jess commented as he put his keys in to open the door. It was stuck. Again.

"How do you know?" Luke asked, a little baffled.

"My phone has caller ID," Jess muttered, trying to shove the door open.

"Oh," Luke replied bluntly. "What's that noise? What are you doing?"

"Looking for the treasure of the Sierra Madre," Jess muttered, completely serious, as he kicked at the door. "Where the hell are you calling from?"

"I uh... I got a cell phone..."

Jess stopped pulverizing the door.

"Jess? You still there?"

Jess started laughing.

Really laughing.

"Hey!" Luke cried. "What's funny?!"

"You hate cell phones," Jess chuckled. "You kick people with cell phones out of the diner."

"I won't have it on in the diner," Luke defended.

"You'll forget to turn it off one day," Jess went on. "And it'll go off. You'll have to leave your own diner on principle."

"That's not gonna happen."

"What's your ringer?" Jess asked.

"What?"

"Your ringer," Jess repeated. "What is it?"

"...Just a plain ringer," Luke replied quickly.

"Liar," Jess snapped. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Lemme guess... The theme from Ghostbusters," Jess joked.

"No!" Luke cried. "It's Play That Funky Music!"

Jess laughed again. "That's sad."

"Shut up," Luke growled. "Listen, your mom and TJ got into an accident in Maine. I'm heading up there now to help them out."

"They alright?" Jess asked, finally getting his door open.

"Yeah. They both broke a couple of things," Luke replied. "But they're okay."

Jess stood awkwardly in his run-down apartment. "Tell them... Well, tell Liz..."

"Yeah," Luke replied curtly. "No problem."

"Thanks."

"G'night, Jess."

Jess smirked a little. "Play that funky, music."

Luke hung up.

Jess sighed and hung up as well. He then dialed a different number and put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Liz... yeah, I heard... you guys okay?"

END


	2. 2

A/N: Okay. Another.

Spoilers: A Messenger, Nothing More

**Rudy Can't Fail #2**

Jess cracked up. "Breaking up the team?!"

Luke groaned. "Just shut up."

Jess snickered more.

"Did I tell you about Hay Bail Bill?"

"Repeatedly," Jess muttered as he roamed around the small, dingy apartment.

"So I'm back in Stars Hollow," Luke informed him.

"Congratulations," Jess replied. "Damn... where in hell are my shoes?"

"I don't know," Luke smirked. "You lost your shoes?"

"No," Jess snapped. "I did not lose my shoes... they've gotta be here somewhere."

"Who can tell in the crap hole?" Luke quipped.

"Cut it out," Jess growled. "It's all I can afford."

Luke sighed. "Y'know... if you wanted to come for a visit..."

"Maybe in a few months," Jess replied. "Found 'em! I just got this new job... I gotta settle in."

"New job?" Luke asked interestedly. "You didn't tell me that..."

"You were living in the plague era," Jess replied. He plopped down onto his mattress and started putting on his shoes. "It's retail. A book store. Pays more than the messenger gig, though."

"That's great!" Luke cried. "We should celebrate sometime."

"Maybe this weekend or something," Jess muttered. He looked around and grabbed up his jacket.

"Yeah, that'd be great," Luke nodded. "So... uh... can I tell you something personal?"

"You can. Don't expect me to react well."

"I almost kissed Lorelai."

Jess blinked and stopped. "I thought you already kissed Lorelai."

"I did, but I almost did again when I got back from Maine," Luke explained. "I got her this necklace."

"You got her jewelry?" Jess scoffed. "You haven't even been on a date yet!"

"I just... I don't know," Luke tried to explain. "Liz was really excited about us dating."

"Liz was excited when they finally came out with easy-use dental floss," Jess smirked. "She's easily excitable."

"She huzzah'd when I told her about Lorelai and I," Luke mumbled.

Jess smirked. "She huzzah'd?"

"Yeah," Luke sighed. "So, Rory came back from Europe this week."

"That's nice," Jess replied tersely.

"And uh... Dean and Lindsay separated," Luke muttered .

Jess stopped. "...Huh."

"What?"

"Rory comes back... Bagboy separates from wifey..." Jess said thoughtfully. He shook his head. "Whatever."

"You wanna talk?"

"Stupid questions get stupid answers, Uncle Luke." He got up and threw his jacket on, while trying to keep the phone to his ear.

"Listen, I gotta get going," Luke told him. "Call me about grabbing a bite to eat this weekend. I'll find time to visit."

"Sounds good," Jess nodded. "Bye." He shut the phone off and shoved it in his pocket, and then walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.


	3. 3

Spoilers: Written in the Stars

**Rudy Can't Fail #3**

"You took her to Sniffy's?"

Luke sighed heavily and took a swig of his beer. He looked around the old, nearly empty New York bar. He'd driven up to the city to celebrate Jess's new job.

And, of course, inevitably, Luke's new relationship had come up.

Jess cracked a wide smirk. "You took her to Sniffy's."

"Stop saying it."

"I had my first beer at Sniffy's," Jess mused. "I think I lost my virginity shortly after leaving Sniffy's once."

"Jeez!" Luke cried.

Jess's smirk turned to a grin. "You had sex after leaving Sniffy's."

"What?!" Luke asked, blushing ever-so-slightly.

"You slept with Lorelai," Jess stated. "You dog."

"Shut up."

Jess shook his head and took a sip of his own beer. "How'd the date go?"

"Fine."

"You got some," Jess mused. "Finally."

Luke smacked him upside the head. "You should go visit Macey and Buddy more often. They miss you. They asked about you before I left."

"Yeah, and I bet you told them I was just peachy on your way out the door as you thought about how many you had left in your thirty-year-old condom supply."

"Jess!"

"Can't believe you took her to Sniffy's," Jess repeated. He sighed. "So, who knows about you two?"

"Whole town."

"Big surprise," Jess muttered. "How'd they find out?"

"Lorelai..." Luke took a deep breath. "She walked downstairs the morning after in my shirt."

Jess fought to hold back laughter.

"You laugh and I kill you."

"Lorelai... in your flannel shirt," Jess chuckled. "You know... I forgot that she was kinda hot."

"Hey!"

"Just stating a fact," Jess replied, putting up his hands. "Don't get so territorial." He took another sip of his beer. "So how'd the town take it?"

"Not well."

"Oh?"

"They made charts."

Jess set down his beer and stared. "Charts?"

Luke nodded. "Charts. Pie charts... line graphs... it wasn't pretty."

"What did you do?"

"I told 'em off," Luke muttered.

"Whole town?"

"Wasn't the first time."

Jess nodded. "Good man."

"What about you?" Luke asked. "We're here to celebrate the fact that you have a new job. How's it going?"

Jess nodded. "Good. It's...good."

Luke blinked. "What?"

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Something's up," Luke shook his head, and stared at his nephew. He grinned. "You have a girl."

"Do not."

"Do so," Luke countered. "You've got girl face. Who is she?"

"Nobody."

"But there is someone," Luke confirmed. "Come on. You just got to mock me for a whole ten minutes."

Jess sighed. "Her name is Nadia. She... We just met. She works at the independent coffee house across from the street from the bookstore..."

Luke smirked and pinched Jess's cheek. "That's cute."

Jess smacked his hand away. "Cut it out."

"When's the first date?" Luke asked.

"Tomorrow night," Jess mumbled, taking another sip of beer.

Luke nodded. "That's great... I'm glad you're getting over what happened with Rory."

"Yeah, well, it's time to move on," Jess nodded. "She certainly has."

Luke nodded again, as they fell into silence, until a thought occurred to him. "Hey..." He pulled a piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to Jess. "You have any of these?"

Jess squinted at the list. "U2... Blondie... Bowie...I have all of these... why?"

"Good," Luke sighed. "You're making me copies of all of them."

Jess shook his head. "If this is music to screw to for you and Lorelai, I'm afraid I can't help you."

Luke glared.

Jess smirked.


	4. 4

Spoilers: Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too  
  
**Rudy Can't Fail #4  
**  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey."  
  
Jess grinned and leaned back in his seat at work, holding the cell phone to his ear. "Hi."  
  
"Where are you?" Luke asked. "You don't sound like you're at home."  
  
"Work," Jess replied. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm good… real good," Luke said confidently.  
  
"Things with Lorelai are good, then," Jess confirmed, sliding out of his chair to shelve some loose books.  
  
"Real good."  
  
"You said that."  
  
"I get redundant when I'm happy," Luke drawled. "It's a curse."  
  
"Right," Jess smirked.  
  
"Hey… did you ever make food for Rory when you were together?" Luke asked, sounding slightly awkward.  
  
"When I was working with you," Jess replied. "I made her food all the time."  
  
"Outside the diner?"  
  
Jess cocked an eyebrow. "Nope. Usually went out. Why?"  
  
Luke sighed. "I tried to make breakfast for Lorelai yesterday, and she got all weird… said she wanted to eat at the diner…"  
  
"You cook the same stuff at home as you do in the diner," Jess pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, but she wanted to eat in the diner."  
  
"That's sufficiently cracked," Jess commented.  
  
"Yeah," Luke agreed. "So then Rory called, and Lorelai told her I was sitting around the kitchen naked."  
  
"Gross and cracked."  
  
"I don't know how to handle some of the stuff she does," Luke admitted.  
  
"Rory was weird, too," Jess reassured him. "She made pro/con lists from everything."  
  
"Hey… speaking of Rory… did you know that she and Dean are back together?" Luke asked.  
  
Jess stopped shelving and rubbed his fingers lightly against his forehead. "Yeah, huh?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Isn't he married?"  
  
"He was."  
  
"Huh."  
  
"You okay?" Luke asked warily.  
  
"Why shouldn't I be?" Jess asked. "It's none of my business if she wants to waste her time with that giant ignoramus."  
  
"Jess-"  
  
"I'm over it."  
  
Luke sighed. "How was your date?"  
  
"Good," Jess replied. "Better than I thought it would be."  
  
"What'd you do?" Luke asked.  
  
"Got dinner… saw a movie… went back to her place…"  
  
Luke laughed a little. "Whore."  
  
"I am not," Jess protested.  
  
"It was the first date!"  
  
"You and Lorelai did it on the first date," Jess pointed out.  
  
"Lorelai and I have known each other for eight years," Luke said. "It's completely different."  
  
"Fine," Jess replied awkwardly. "Whatever."  
  
"What?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nothing."  
  
"Come on, Jess, spit it out."  
  
He sighed. "I really like Nadia."  
  
Luke grinned audibly. "Oh, yeah?"  
  
Jess nodded. "Yeah. She's cool… she plays and fixes pianos when she's not working at the coffee shop. She's got good taste in music… bad taste in movies… it's forgivable, though."  
  
"She cute?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Nice."  
  
"So how are things in Candy Land?" Jess asked.  
  
"Shaken up," Luke replied. "Jackson ran against Taylor for town selectman and won."  
  
"Really?" Jess replied, almost interestedly.  
  
"Yeah," Luke replied. "Lorelai and Sookie wanted to you use the diner for their campaign."  
  
Jess smirked widely. "You caved, didn't you?"  
  
"I caved."  
  
"Caved on what?"  
  
Luke whirled around, and stared at Lorelai, a little shocked. "Hi."  
  
Jess squinted. "Luke?"  
  
"Hey, Jess," Luke said into the phone. "I gotta go."  
  
"Okay. Talk to you next week."  
  
"Yeah," Luke nodded. "Bye." He clicked off the phone. "I didn't hear you come in," he told Lorelai.  
  
She nodded. "Yeah… obviously… you were talking to Jess?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Jess."  
  
"Jess."  
  
"Oh."  
  
He glanced at her. "What?"  
  
"I'm just surprised, is all," Lorelai replied. "What did he do this time?"  
  
"Got a new job," Luke replied. "He's working at a bookstore so he's got more time to talk."  
  
Lorelai nodded awkwardly. "Good."  
  
He tilted his head. "What?"  
  
"Luke…" she sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't be putting so much faith in him."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He's let you down so many times," Lorelai said gently. "And you keep trying with him and he keeps messing up… why do you always putting yourself through this?"  
  
Luke clenched his jaw. "I hear Rory's been screwing up a lot lately… you intend on giving up on her?"  
  
Lorelai stared at him in shock as he left the apartment. 


	5. 5

**Rudy Can't Fail #5**

The door to the small bookshop opened and closed, and Jess didn't look up; never did.

"Lunch time!"

That made him look up. "Hey."

Nadia Henderson was a short girl of around twenty, with straight, light brown hair, highlighted by blond streaks. She wore a pair of khaki pants with a plain, black blouse. A black apron was tied around her hips, and she was carrying a large pizza box with both hands.

To most people, she was nice-looking. Perhaps a little on the plain side.

Jess thought a bit more than that of her.

She walked over, a smile plastered on her face. "I brought lunch."

"So you said."

"Don't I get a prize?"

Jess's mouth twisted into a mischievous grin.

Nadia bopped him on the top of the head with the box. "Evil man."

He shrugged. "On occasion." He turned to the Sci-Fi section as he got to his feet. "Collin! I'm taking my lunch break!"

"Okay!" a voice called.

Jess wrapped an arm around Nadia, and they walked back to the storage room to eat.

They'd just sat down when Jess's phone rang.

Nadia got to it first and snatched it up with a snicker. "Jess's phone! How may I service you?"

Jess shook his head. "You're sick, y'know that?"

"Uhh... Hi... is Jess there?"

Nadia smiled and avoided Jess when he tried to snatch the phone. "Who's speaking?"

"It's his uncle..."

"Oh! Hold on!" Nadia smiled and handed the phone to Jess. "It's your uncle."

Jess nodded and grabbed the phone. "Hi."

"Lorelai's getting weirder."

Jess smirked and slumped down. "Oh, yeah, huh?"

Nadia smirked and sat on the table pretzel style with a piece of pizza.

"She wants free coffee, and she's mad because she's been tipping me for ten years, without knowing she didn't have to," Luke explained.

"Well, now you're have sex. It's all better."

"Shut up. How're you?"

"I'm alright," Jess nodded. "On my lunch break... Nadia, stop rubbing it in that you're eating and I'm not."

She snickered.

"So guess what happened to me last night?" Luke asked.

"Lorelai pulled out the bullwhip?"

"I got conned into going on a double date with Dean and Rory."

Jess snickered.

"Not funny."

"Sure it is."

"It was awful," Luke told him.

"I bet."

"Lorelai kissed him on the cheek."

"Ew," Jess replied, obviously repulsed. "I hope she didn't catch anything."

"We went to JoJo's."

"JoJo's sucks."

"Yup."

"Why'd you go?"

"...Don't ask..."

"What else did you do?" Jess asked, grabbing a piece of pizza from the box. He blinked, obviously slightly confused when Nadia started making funny faces at him.

"We watched Pippi Longstalking."

"Aw, jeez. Rory made me watch that four times... in a row."

"I hate Dean," Luke said suddenly.

Jess leaned back with his pizza, and placed his foot on Nadia's lap.

She gave him a shoe wedgie.

He glared. "Yeah."

"He was all over Rory."

"Don't care."

"I hate Dean."

"Okay."

"I kicked his ass in Bop-It."

"Bop-It?"

"Bop-It."

"You freak."

"Dean's not good enough for her."

"I gotta go."

"He's a punk!"

"Bye, Luke."

"I just can't stand that kid."

Jess hung up.

Nadia watched him quizzically. "Hi."

He nodded.

"What was that?"

"A conversation I didn't wanna have," Jess replied. "You got napkins?" He asked, taking a bite out of his pizza.

She nodded and passed him one. "What did he say?"

"Just... stuff."

"Okay," Nadia smirked. "You remember last night?"

Jess blushed ever-so-slightly and turned his eyes to his food. "Somewhat."

"Well... you got really drunk, and told me all about Rory and Dean... and your uncle... and Lorelai... and a swan, randomly."

Jess sighed heavily. "Luke and Lorelai went out on a double date with Rory and Dean, and he was just... rambling."

Nadia frowned and slid off the table and into his lap, getting tomato sauce on his nose in the process.

"Hey!"

Nadia laughed.

* * *

"I did it again."

Lorelai blinked and looked up from her coffee. "What?"

"I did it again! I started... ranting about Dean...To Jess this time, of all people!"

Lorelai sighed.

"He hung up on me."

"What? Why?"

Luke sighed. "You don't get it, Lorelai, he's doing so much better. He's moved on, and he doesn't want to go back. Earlier on the phone? That was me dragging him back."

"Oh, Honey," Lorelai replied softly. "I'm sure he doesn't think that."

"No, I know the way he thinks," Luke muttered. "He doesn't like talking about Dean or Rory... or Dean and Rory... I gotta make it up to him somehow."

Lorelai blinked. "How?"

He gave her a look.

Lorelai stared back. "Uh-oh..."

"Well... y'know... we went on a double date with Rory and Dean..."

"Oh, no way," Lorelai snapped. "I am not going anywhere with your nephew."

"Hey!"

"Haven't we learned that double dates are bad?" Lorelai pleaded. "I mean... I shouldn't have even thought it... my last double date was with Max and Rory and Dean... and that went well up until I called off the wedding, and before that it was with Jackson's cousin Rune. That was horrible! This one? With Rory and Dean? Just as bad! And this is Jess we're talking about! I don't like Jess! He's grouchy, and he's sarcastic, and he broke Rory's heart."

"Don't even go there," Luke warned. "She messed him up pretty good, too."

"Fine! She did! Their whole relationship was a mess! And now things are weirder, and worse than ever, and you want me to go on a double date with Jess?"

"I sat through Pippi Longstalking... with Dean... I hate Dean."

Lorelai groaned. "I don't like Jess."

"Tomorrow night, meet me here and we'll drive down."

"Oh, my god," Lorelai moaned.

He leaned over and kissed her briefly. "Be here at six. Casual's good."

* * *

"Jess's pho-OW!"

"Nadia, right?"

She hopped on one foot. "Hi. I don't know who you are but I just stubbed my toe."

"It's Jess's uncle. Is here around?"

"Yup! Hold on!"

There was shuffling, and then Jess's voice spoke up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jess."

"Hi," Jess replied awkwardly.

"Listen... I'm really sorry about before," Luke told him.

"Whatever. I hate Dean too... personally, I woulda been happy if you'da beat him with the god-damned bop-it."

Luke laughed a little. "So..." he cleared his throat. "I was thinking..."

"Sign of the apocalypse," Jess muttered.

"Shut up," Luke snapped. "I was thinking... maybe we could all go out."

"We?"

"You, Nadia, Lorelai and I."

"I don't know, Luke..."

"Come on," Luke urged. "It'll be fun."

"Lorelai hates me."

"She does not."

"Luke..."

"Come on. Dinner."

Jess sighed. "Just dinner?"

"Just dinner."

Jess raked a hand through his hair. "When?"

* * *

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Lorelai grumbled as they walked into Sniffy's.

Luke sighed. "It won't be that bad." He led her into the restaurant and stopped.

Macey smiled and laughed. "I remember when this one was just a little scamp," she told Nadia. "He used to run around here naked at least once of week."

Jess groaned. "Must you?"

"Well, no one else is here to do it."

"Oh, I can jump in on this," Luke smirked, sauntering over.

"Jeez," Jess rolled his eyes.

Nadia smiled and nudged Jess playfully. "They're ganging up on you."

"I see," Jess muttered.

"There was this one time when Dad was working in the hardware store," Luke said. "And Liz and Jess were visiting, and Jess comes bounding down the stairs from the office, and he starts trying to help... he winds up with a pair of pliers caught in his hair."

The assembled group laughed and Nadia reached up and played with Jess's hair a little. "Poor baby."

Jess rolled his eyes. "I knew this was a bad idea."

"You kids have a seat," Buddy insisted. "We'll bring you some drinks."

"Thanks," Luke nodded. He turned to Jess and Nadia. "Hi."

Jess nodded. "Hi. It had to be Sniffy's?"

Luke smirked. "It had to be Sniffy's."

"Jack-ass," Jess muttered jokingly.

"Hi, Jess," Lorelai said, trying to be nice.

He nodded. "Lorelai."

Nadia tapped Jess on the shoulder.

He glanced at her, and then cleared his throat. "Lorelai, Luke; this is my girlfriend, Nadia. Nadia, this is Lorelai, and my Uncle Luke."

She smiled and shook both their hands. "Hi."

"Hi," Lorelai smiled. "So... wow... you're brave, dating Jess."

Nadia smirked and wrapped an arm around him. "He's not so tough."

Lorelai tried to hold her smile.

* * *

They stood out in the parking lot a couple of hours later.

"It's your turn to call me," Luke told Jess sternly.

Jess nodded. "Yeah, I will."

Luke shook his head and pulled Jess into a hug.

Nadia snickered, and Lorelai couldn't help but smile.

"I wish I had a camera," Lorelai quipped.

"Not a problem," Nadia replied. She pulled a disposable camera from her purse and snapped a shot. "I now have documented proof that Jess Mariano has the ability to hug another man."

Lorelai laughed. "Send me copies."

Jess pulled away from Luke and wrapped an arm around Nadia. "We're burning that camera."

"You wish."

Jess rolled his eyes.

"It was nice meeting you, Nadia," Luke said.

"You, too," Nadia nodded. "Bye, Lorelai."

"Bye," Lorelai waved, as they walked to their car. "You know," she muttered to Luke. "I kinda like her."

Luke smirked. "And Jess...?"

"Okay, now you're stretching it," Lorelai warned. "But Nadia's nice."

Luke nodded. "Yeah... I'm glad he found a nice girl."

Lorelai nodded a little back. "Rory was nice..."

"They're not right for each other," Luke told her. "Maybe they used to be, but..."

"I know," Lorelai interrupted. "Believe me, I know, I just... they seem so... easy together... and you seemed really easy with them..."

"So did you," Luke pointed out. "Hey, don't worry about Rory. She'll ditch Dean sooner or later."

Lorelai glared.

"...Or... work things out... whichever," Luke went on, trying to save himself. "Let's just go."

Lorelai nodded in agreement, and they got in the car.


	6. 6

**Rudy Can't Fail #6**

"Stop laughing!"

Jess held back a grin. "Who's laughing?"

"You are," Luke snapped as he carried a box into the apartment.

Jess shook his head, and smirked. "I'm not. I'm not laughing."

"Stop, Jess."

Jess cracked into a full smile. "A hotdog costume?"

Luke rolled his eyes and looked around the small, empty apartment. "Where do you want this?"

Jess shrugged. "Just set it down. I'll find a place for it later."

Luke nodded and set the box on the wooden floor. "I'm really proud of you. This place is nice."

Jess gave another shrug and looked around. "Small."

"But sanitary. With plumbing. And some different rooms."

Jess nodded. "I guess so."

"Where'd you come up with the money for this?" Luke asked.

"Worked," Jess muttered.

At that moment, Lorelai stumbled into the apartment, carrying another box. "My god! How many flights of stairs was that?!"

"A bunch," Luke replied. "It's good for you."

"No," Lorelai argued. "Back massages are good for you. Chocolate is good for your complexion. Climbing flight upon flight of stairs, carrying heavy boxes is not good for you!"

Jess took the box from her and blinked. "This isn't heavy."

"Says you, Mr... Big Strong Man... Man!"

"You didn't have to do this, you know," Luke told her.

Lorelai sighed heavily. "You've helped move Rory into school two years in a row... I figured I could repay you by helping you move Jess into his new place... but I didn't know there were so many stairs!"

Jess smirked and shook his head. "I'm gonna go check out the kitchen."

"Oh!" Lorelai cried. "Let Luke come with!"

Jess blinked back at her.

"When he hits his head on the inside of the stove, he makes funny noises," She explained.

Luke glared at his girlfriend.

Jess gave another smirk. "He does, doesn't he?"

"I do not!" Luke protested.

"You remember when the oven was busted in your apartment?" Jess asked.

"I didn't make funny noises."

"Did."

"Shut up."

The door opened again, and Nadia zoomed in, carrying a couple of boxes. "Chinese food and beer!"

Luke blinked. "Since when are you old enough to buy beer?"

Nadia shrugged. "They didn't card. I think it's the cleavage."

Lorelai snickered. "That'a girl."

"Since when do you condone underage drinking?" Luke asked.

"She's twenty and living on her own," Lorelai pointed out. "I'm not saying it's right, but it's normal."

Nadia smiled brightly and set the food down on the floor on her way over to kiss Jess hello. "Love the place."

"Thanks," Jess nodded. "I like it, too... beats the hell out of the mattress on the floor."

"What did you do with that thing?" Luke asked.

"Left it," Jess replied. "Todd wanted it."

"Ew," Lorelai and Nadia voiced.

"Come on, let's eat," Jess said. "I'm starving."

"You look it," Lorelai commented. "You look like a cross between a child from a third world country and a heroin addict."

"Thank you," Jess replied.

At that moment, Lorelai's phone rang, and she pulled it out of her purse. "Scuse me, kids." She flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Mom!" Rory's voice replied. "You would not believe-"

"Oh, honey, I'm in the middle of something," Lorelai told her. "Can we talk later?"

Jess rolled his eyes, and Luke smacked him upside the head, the resounding slapping sound was quite loud.

"What was that?" Rory asked.

"Nothing," Lorelai replied quickly.

"No... I know that sound... I remember that sound... that's the sound of someone smacking... That was Luke's hand smacking Jess upside the head!"

"What... what makes you say that?" Lorelai asked nervously.

"Because Luke always smacked Jess upside the head. What is Jess doing in Stars Hollow?"

"I'm not in Stars Hollow, Rory," Lorelai replied, trying to stay pleasant. "Luke and I are in New York, with Jess and his girlfriend, helping him move into a new place."

"What?"

"Rory..."

"Since when does Jess have a new girlfriend?" Rory asked.

"Why does it matter?" Lorelai asked. She walked out of the apartment, and stood in the hallway. "Honey, Jess is Luke's family. They've been talking a lot..."

"So that means you have to talk to him, too?" Rory asked, obviously upset.

Lorelai sighed. "It's no big deal, Rory..."

"You know how I feel about Jess!"

"But this isn't about you, Rory, this is about my supporting Luke, who really cares about Jess!"

"So, what? You're choosing Luke over me, now?"

"Of course not! What does this have anything to do with you?"

They stayed on the phone in silence.

"It has nothing to do with me," Rory said quickly. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

"Okay..."

"I have to go."

"Rory..."

"Bye, Mom. I love you."

"Love you, too," Lorelai replied, and hung up.

* * *

"Don't start, Jess," Luke warned.

Jess shrugged. "You don't get the feeling that Rory's just dragging Lorelai around?"

"Jess..."

"I don't drag you around like that," Jess told his uncle.

"That's because I don't let you," Luke snapped.

Nadia sighed and sat back on the floor. "It seems weird that she would get upset over this..."

"If it's not about her, she gets upset," Jess said. "That's the way she's always been. I knew that even when I was dating her."

"You didn't seem to mind then," Luke pointed out.

"I was a stupid, enamored kid," Jess replied, scooting closer to Nadia.

Luke nodded. "And last year?"

"An emotional wreck," Jess shot.

Luke sighed. "Just... keep it to yourself when Lorelai comes back in."

Jess nodded.

Lorelai rushed back in and sat down next to Luke. "Sorry about that."

"Sokay," Luke smiled. He handed her a carton of Chinese food. "She okay?"

"Mm," Lorelai replied, picking up a pair of chopsticks. "She's fine."

Luke nodded and dug into his tofu and vegetables.


	7. 7

**Rudy Can't Fail #7**

Nadia cuddled up against Jess under the sleeping bag. "It's pretty out here."

Jess nodded and wrapped an arm around her. It had been his idea to sleep on the roof of his apartment building. He knew she'd like it, and he was right. She was thrilled. He didn't know how much he'd enjoy it until they'd settled in.

She smiled at him. "You look happy."

He thought about this for a moment, and then nodded. "I am."

Her smile widened, and reached up and kissed him.

And then his cell phone rang.

He pulled away from her and sighed as the melody of the Clash song played. "Of course."

Nadia grinned. "Get it."

He nodded and picked it up. "Hey, Luke."

"You said you'd call me," he scolded.

"I was going to," Jess replied. "I swear."

"Right."

"Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?"

Luke blinked. "What?"

Jess glared down at Nadia. "Sorry. I've been picking up Nadia-isms lately... what's up?"

"I had dinner at Emily Gilmore's," Luke deadpanned.

Jess smirked. "Lucky you."

"She got me beer."

"Bad sign."

"She called the diner rustic."

"Crap pile."

Luke shook his head. "How do you know all this?!"

"You can't tell?" Jess asked. "The woman is like... Satan herself."

"You've met her once! And you were beaked!"

"Yet sane enough to recognize a satanic person when she presents herself."

Luke sighed. "And then I played golf with Richard Gilmore."

"Never met him."

"He likes books."

"My kinda guy."

"So..." Luke muttered. "I told him I like books..."

Jess sat up, narrowing his eyes. "You took my hobby?"

"...No..."

"You took my hobby!"

"I had to say something! I couldn't think of anything else!"

"Bull. You like fishing, you like baseball, you like... making out with Lorelai."

Luke snorted. "That would have gone over well."

"You're a sad man, Luke Danes," Jess droned.

"Oh! And get this," Luke went on. "Richard wants me to set up a franchise."

"Man, they really don't like you," Jess said.

"Tell me about it," Luke grumbled. "Hey, where are you? I can hear cars on your end."

"Nadia and I are sleeping on the roof," Jess replied. "It's a nice night."

"That's cute."

"Shut up."

"What?" Luke snickered. "It's cute."

"Bye, Luke."

"Bye, Jess."

Jess clicked off the phone and settled back down into Nadia's arms.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Luke met Lorelai's parents, and they hated him," Jess replied, closing his eyes.

She smiled a little. "Tired?"

He nodded a little.

"Hey..."

"Hm?"

"How..." she sighed and shrugged a little. "How would you feel about meeting my parents?"

He opened his eyes.

"I mean... nothing weird... they're nice people...I just... don't want to shut them out of my whole life, y'know?"

He nodded.

"I could meet your mom," Nadia offered.

"I don't think you want to meet my mom," Jess replied.

"If I met your mom, would you meet mine?"

"I'll meet your parents," Jess told her.

"And I will meet yours."

"No."

Nadia pouted. "No?"

Jess shook his head. "No."

"Why?"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. "G'night."

"Cheater!"

He yawned and buried his face into her hair.

Nadia grumbled, but eventually settled down to sleep.


	8. 8

**Rudy Can't Fail #8**

Nadia smiled as they reached her parents' apartment door. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Jess muttered.

"They're nice people," Nadia snickered. She took hold of the handle, and Jess stopped her for a moment.

"You don't knock?"

She gave him an odd glance. "Why would I?"

He shrugged uneasily. "I don't know."

Nadia sighed and turned to him, taking his hands. "Relax.... Carl and Rita Henderson are not flesh-eating zombies."

He nodded.

She smiled and kissed him briefly before swinging the door open. "Ma?! Dad?!"

"In the kitchen!"

She took Jess by the hand and led him through the spacious apartment and into the narrow kitchen, where Carl and Rita Henderson sat, Carl, with what looked to be a broken toaster in his hands, and Rita, with a half-knitted scarf.

"Hey!" Nadia smiled, hugging each parents in turn.

"Hi, Sweetie," Rita smiled. "Have a good week?"

Nadia gave a nod, and took Jess's hand again. "Ma, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Jess."

Rita smiled widely and got to her feet, holding out her hand. "Hi. I'm Nadia's mom."

He nodded and shook her hand. "Mrs. Henderson."

"Oh, please!" Rita snickered. "Call me Rita." She nudged Nadia and whispered. "My god, he's cute. Where did you find him?"

Nadia rolled her eyes. "Dad?"

"Just a minute, Nadia," he muttered, still tinkering with the toaster.

Jess blinked. "I uh... I can fix that... if..."

Carl looked up. "Can you? The only think I can seem to fix is a piano, these days."

Jess nodded and took the toaster from him. "Gotta fork?"

Nadia snickered.

* * *

"It's quite an interesting business," Carl explained. "Pianos are beautiful instruments..."

Jess nodded and stared blankly at the older man. Carl Henderson was a very thin man of about five-nine and had graying, thinning hair. He had been talking about making and fixing pianos for an hour.

Jess nodded again.

* * *

"So, how long have you two been seeing each other?" Rita asked as she and Nadia washed and dried the dishes.

"Not long... a little over a month now, I think."

Rita grinned. "He's adorable."

"He is," Nadia agreed.

"Your kids will be beautiful."

Nadia stopped drying the dishes. "Pardon?"

"I'm just saying..."

"Ma..."

"He'd probably be a wonderful father..."

Nadia's eyes widened. "Ma!"

"What?!"

Nadia rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Well, that was embarrassing," Nadia muttered as they entered Jess's apartment.

Jess smirked and rolled his eyes. "It wasn't bad."

Nadia raised an eyebrow at him. "My mother all but asked you if you were impotent."

Jess smirked. "It wasn't that bad."

"You're just saying that," she pouted.

"You know what's bad?" Jess asked. "Being introduced to your mother's boyfriend, who wants to draw your portrait on his Etch-E-Sketch."

Nadia gave him a blank stare.

He nodded. "Exactly."

Nadia snickered.

"Not so bad?" Jess asked.

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him. "Not so bad."

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her. She pulled him closer, running a hand through his hair, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

And then Jess's cell phone rang.

"Jeez," he muttered as he pulled away from her. He unhooked one arm from around Nadia and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Hello?"

"Jess?"

He tensed up. "Liz."

She sniffed. "Oh, Jess, it's awful! TJ threw this horrible temper tantrum!"

Jess sighed and rested his head on Nadia's shoulder. "Where are you?"

"Stars Hollow."

He lifted his head. "Why?"

"We bought a house here."

"Huh."

"And we were talking about..." she sniffled. "About getting some drapes, and we started arguing and I went into the other room and by the time I came back out he was gone!"

Jess sighed. "Jackass..."

"I know!" Liz squeaked. "Why do all the men in my life run away!"

Jess clenched his jaw.

"I mean, all of them! Well, except Luke, and..."

"I gotta go."

"Jess?"

"Bye, Liz." He hung up and stared at the phone.

Nadia ran a gentle hand down his cheek. "Hey."

He nodded.

"You okay?"

He gave another nod.

"You don't look okay," she told him.

He leaned down and kissed her.

* * *

Luke groaned when someone knocked on the door a few hours later. Liz and TJ were still fighting in his bedroom, and he'd busied himself with cleaning up after his date with Lorelai.

He walked over and swung to door open, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of the person on the other side. "Jess."

He sighed. "They here?"

Luke nodded, rolling his eyes. "They won't leave. They're still arguing."

"Jeez."

"What're you doing here?" Luke asked, letting him in.

Jess shrugged as he walked in and slumped onto the couch. "Just... wanted to stop by."

"Where's Nadia?"

"Sleeping," Jess replied. "I left her a note."

Luke nodded, and the fighting from the other room got louder.

"I remember that tone of voice," Jess mused. "She used that tone when she found pot in my room."

"Which is funny," Luke chuckled. "Because last year when she visited, she found a bag of pot she'd been hiding from dad for over nineteen years."

"Huh."

"Wanna beer?" Luke asked.

"Please."

Luke nodded and got up, heading for the fridge. "You stayin' here the night?"

"You mind?" Jess asked. "Tomorrow's my day off... I'll be out of your hair by noon."

"You haven't been in my hair for a while, Jess," Luke smirked. He walked back over, handing his nephew a bottle and sitting down next to him.

"Good to know," Jess replied. "Liz called me tonight... I guess right after their first fight."

"Oh yeah?"

Jess sighed and nodded.

"That bad, huh?"

He nodded again. "She's right. You're the only guy she's ever been close to who doesn't run away."

"Jess..."

"I don't wanna run anymore," he said softly. "I'm twenty... I'm too old to be running."

Luke stayed silent.

"I'm not Jimmy."

Luke sighed and pulled Jess into a gruff hug. "You're not."

"Feels like I am," Jess muttered, pulling away slowly.

"Jess-"The phone rang, cutting Luke off. He sighed, and leaned over to grab it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Cheesecake Man."

Luke smirked. "Hi. What's up?"

"Rory's here."

"Good. That was the plan, right?"

"She's really drunk," Lorelai sighed. "She just... stumbled in, slurred out a 'hi, Mom,' and went to bed... still in her dress and tiara."

"Tiara?" Luke asked.

Jess raised an eyebrow.

"I just don't know what to do," Lorelai sighed. "God... she's... she's turning into what I was supposed to be..."

"You want me to come over?"

"Are Liz and TJ still fighting?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, but Jess is here to keep them from hurting each other," Luke replied.

"Jess is there?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, Liz called him and he showed up."

"Wow," Lorelai said. "That's so... not Jess..."

"It is now," Luke replied, giving Jess's head a light shove. "You want me over or not?"

"Nah," Lorelai replied. "You stay there and bond. I'll call Sookie."

"You sure?"

"Yup. Go do manly things with your nephew."

Luke nodded. "Okay. See you tomorrow."

"You will," Lorelai said.

Luke hung up and sighed, glancing at Jess. "Wanna play cards?"

Jess smirked and nodded.


	9. 9

**Rudy Can't Fail #9**

Luke sighed as he walked into his apartment after his date. He shed his coat and walked over to the blinking answering machine. He pressed the button and waited.

"Luke! It's Buddy! Just checkin' up on ya, Kid! Gimme a call."

Beeep!

"Hey, it's Jess. Just doing the phone thing... I guess you're out so I'll call back or... you'll call me... whichever."

Beeeep! "You have no new messages," the machine told him.

He sighed and picked up the phone, dialing Jess's number.

"Hello?" Jess's voice asked sleepily.

"Hey, it's me," Luke replied, sitting down on the couch. "I wake you?"

"No, I was reading," he replied, sitting up. "Nadia's got a cold, so she fell asleep pretty early?"

"You guys living together now?" Luke asked.

"Nah," Jess replied. "But I don't have a roommate and she does, so it makes more sense to spend time here."

Luke nodded.

"What's up with you?" Jess asked.

"Not a lot," Luke replied. "Rory and Dean broke up."

"Huh."

"You can break out the party hats later," Luke said dryly with a smirk.

"I don't care," Jess replied.

"Yeah, you do," Luke told him. "You still care because she was your friend first."

"Nope."

"Jess..."

"What else is up?" Jess asked.

"Lorelai had lunch with Chris," Luke told him, knowing he wouldn't get anywhere with the Rory topic.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And are we turning green with envy yet?" Jess asked jokingly.

"Nope."

Jess snorted.

"I'm not!"

"Sure."

"TJ went after some guy with a pipe."

Jess blinked. "What?"

"He went after this... y'know? Never mind," Luke squeezed his eyes shut. "I really don't wanna talk about TJ."

"Me, either," Jess muttered. "How's Liz?"

"She's good," Luke replied. "I helped fix the pipes in their house so they don't have to use my shower anymore."

Jess sighed. "I am so glad they don't live near me."

"Yeah, count your blessings," Luke replied. "So, uh... I found a couple of boxes of your grandfather's old stuff."

"So?"

"So, I thought maybe you'd wanna help me go through 'em," Luke replied.

"Why don't you ask Liz?" Jess asked curiously.

"Ah, she always gets all weepy when we go through old stuff," Luke said gruffly. "And you didn't know the guy, so I figured you might wanna see some stuff."

"Met him a couple of times," Jess said quietly. "Not for very long... He and Liz always wound up fighting."

Luke nodded. "Hey, what're you guys doing for Thanksgiving?"

Jess shrugged. "I don't know yet. Why?"

"Why don't you two come here?" Luke asked.

"I don't know, Luke," Jess sighed. "You saw the look on Rory's face when she spotted me leaving last week..."

"Since when do you worry about Rory?" Luke mocked.

"I don't want our hating each other to screw things up with you and Lorelai," Jess muttered.

"It won't."

"It will."

Luke groaned. "Y'know what? You're coming for Thanksgiving. You're gonna dress nicely, and you're gonna bring Nadia, and dessert. You got me?"

"Fine!" Jess snapped.

"Fine!" Luke snapped back. "See you next week!"

"Fine!" He hung up.

Nadia squinted her eyes open and sniffled a little. "What was that?" she asked in a nasally voice.

Jess sighed. "You better be healthy by next week... we're going to Luke's for Thanksgiving."

She grinned. "We are?"

He rolled his eyes.

Her grin widened as she sat up. "Really?"

"Yes," Jess snapped. "Why are you so happy about this?"

"Because I've never been to the diner," Nadia told him. "It's a Jess landmark."

"Jeez..."


	10. 95

**Rudy Can't Fail #9.5**

"So this is Stars Hollow."

Jess sighed and shifted on his feet as they stood in front of the diner. "Yeah."

Nadia smiled and gazed around. "Nice."

Jess followed her gaze and his stare landed on Patty and Babbette, who were staring at them and whispering at the corner. "Real nice…"

"Okay," Nadia snickered. "Explain the sign." She pointed to the William's Hardware sign above the diner, and gave him a questioning look.

"My grandfather, William… this used to be his hardware store."

"But…?"

"He died, the hardware store went under, and Luke turned the place into the diner."

"And the sign…?"

"You think I know how my uncle's mind works?" Jess asked, looking perplexed. "I have no idea." He took her hand and began to lead her to the door. "Come on."

She let him guide her into the diner, and looked around. "Nice."

"Hey!"

Nadia looked up and smiled at Luke. "Hi, Luke. Great place."

He nodded. "Pays the bills."

"He always says that," Lorelai smiled. "Hey guys."

Jess nodded. "Lorelai."

"Jess!"

"Oh, no," he muttered.

Liz came bounding down the stairs and threw her arms around him. "I'm so glad you're here!"

Nadia gave Jess a sweet smile and he glared at her harshly.

Liz let go of her son and smiled widely. "You look great, doesn't he look great?"

"You just saw me a couple of weeks ago," Jess muttered. "Remember?"

"I was too busy yelling at TJ to see how great you look," Liz replied.

"Where is TJ?" Jess asked.

"Upstairs, plucking his-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Luke interjected.

Lorelai cleared her throat and nudged Nadia forward. The younger woman looked back at the Gilmore and then at Jess.

Jess sighed. "Liz, this is Nadia. Nadia, my mother, Liz."

Nadia smiled. "Hi."

Liz smiled back. "Hi." She turned to Jess. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!"

Jess sighed.

"It's very nice to meet you," Liz said, shaking Nadia's hand. "Y'know, Jess never used to introduce me to his girlfriends."

"You were never around to meet them," he muttered.

"They never lasted long enough," Liz countered.

"Okay!" Lorelai cried. "Did you guys bring dessert?"

Nadia nodded, and held up a casserole dish. "Brownies."

"What kind?" Liz asked, taking the dish and looking in interestedly.

"The… brown… chocolate kind?" Nadia offered.

Jess sighed heavily and took the dish, sitting it on the counter. "So who else is coming?"

"Well," Lorelai said gently. "Sookie and Jackson and Davie… and my parents… maybe…and…Rory. Isn't that a great guest list?"

Jess stared at her blankly. "Luke?"

"What?"

"Upstairs."

Luke sighed.

"Upstairs," Jess snapped.

The two men headed for the apartment.

Nadia smiled. "So, uh… Rory's gonna be here."

Lorelai nodded. "Yup."

Nadia tightened her smile. "That's… peachy…"

* * *

"Thanks for the heads up, Luke," Jess said angrily. "I really appreciate the notification."

"If I'd told you, you wouldn't have come," Luke countered.

"Damn right!" Jess yelled.

"If it makes you feel any better, she has no idea you're gonna be here, either," the older man offered.

"Sure, that's great. Because the last time I saw her unexpectedly, it turned out amazingly well," Jess replied sarcastically. "What are you thinking?!"

"Y'know what I'm thinking?!" Luke cried. "I'm thinking I wanna have a nice, pleasant Thanksgiving with my girlfriend, and our families. So for once in your life, you're gonna behave! You're gonna sit quietly, and be a good boy, and you're not gonna say anything snide, or mean, or stupid!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"Why?!"

"Because I said so! Keep arguing, and I'm lifting your ass over my shoulder and dumping you in the lake again!"

"Be my guest!" Jess yelled. "It's gotta be better than playing nice with the Little Princess!"

"You used to be in love with that girl!" Luke growled.

"Yeah, and then I realized that she was selfish, and spoiled, and probably the dumbest smart person I'd ever met!" Jess yelled. "Do you know how much better off I am without her?! Do you?! For shit's sake, Luke! Look at her! She's a mess!"

"So are you!"

That shut Jess up in a hurry.

"One day," Luke said. "I'm begging you. One day of civility."

Jess sighed.

* * *

Rory glanced around the diner uncomfortably and sighed. "Hi, Mom."

"Hey, Sweetie!" Lorelai smiled. "You're early."

Rory nodded. "Yup."

Lorelai smiled and wrapped an arm around her daughter. "Rory, this is Liz, Luke's sister."

Liz smiled. "Hi, Rory. Nice to meet you."

Rory waved awkwardly. "Hi… that's Jess's mom…" she muttered to Lorelai.

"Yup," Lorelai replied. "And that over there?" she nodded to Nadia, "that's his girlfriend."

Rory shot a stare at Nadia, who was seated at the counter, fidgeting with a ketchup bottle. "Great…"

"Be nice," Lorelai ordered. "Hey, Nadia."

The girl looked up and smiled nervously. "Hi."

Rory looked her over seriously. "Hello."

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Hey, Sookie!"

Sookie walked over and hugged Rory. "Hey, Popcorn! Happy Thanksgiving!"

"You, too, Sookie," Rory smiled, giving another serious glance to Nadia, who had gone back to her ketchup bottle.

Lorelai followed her gaze as Jackson walked in, carrying Davie. She sighed and gave a kind smile. "Hey, Nadia, come on over and meet the gang."

Nadia looked up at her in slight surprise. "Oh… okay…" She got up and walked over.

"Sookie, Jackson, this is Nadia Henderson, Jess's girlfriend," Lorelai introduced. "Nadia, this is Sookie and Jackson Mellville, and their son Davie."

"Nice to meet you," Nadia smiled.

"Oh, you, too, Honey," Sookie smiled. "You're a brave girl, taking on Jess."

"Oh, he's not so tough," Nadia snickered. "You find out where he's ticklish, and you've pretty much got him proverbially hog-tied."

Sookie giggled. "Well, there ya go."

"You're from New York?" Jackson asked pleasantly.

Nadia gave a nod. "Yeah, I guess the accent gave that away. I was born and raised in the Bronx."

"Wow, neat," Sookie smiled. "What do your parents do?"

"My dad makes and fixes pianos," Nadia told them. "My mom did some secretary work, but she's retired."

"Wow, Pianos," Jackson mused. "That's neat."

Nadia smiled, and then caught a glimpse at the somber expression on Rory's face, and decided on a blank frown.

Lorelai looked from one girl to the other. "I'm gonna… go see what's taking the guys."

Nadia smiled nervously at Rory. "So… uh… How's school?"

Rory stared.

Lorelai turned toward the stairs, just in time for Luke and Jess to come down into the diner. "Oh! Good! Look who's finally decided to join us!"

Jess sighed and walked over to Nadia, placing an arm around her. "Scared yet?"

She smirked. "Nah. So far, so good."

"Hi, Jess," Rory spoke up.

He almost said something snide, but bit his tongue. "Hi."

They stood in awkward silence.

"I'm gonna go talk to my mom," Rory informed them, turning and walking off.

Nadia was out of ear-shot and then turned to Jess. "Spit it out."

"I see you've expanded your vocabulary beyond 'no.'"

"Feel better?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"It would have been a good one," Nadia told him affectionately.

He nodded. "She woulda been pissed," he told her solemnly. "Luke made me promise to be civil."

"All day?" Nadia asked jokingly.

"Shut up."

"Jess!" Luke cried. "Kitchen!"

"Duty calls," Jess sighed. He leaned over and kissed Nadia softly. "Play nice."

She grinned. "I have my ketchup bottle to keep me company."

"Freak," Jess accused.

"Nerd."

"Headcase."

"Hello, Pot. I'm kettle. It's very nice to meet you."

"Damn woman," Jess grumbled.

"Have fun in the kitchen," Nadia grinned, sitting back down at the counter.

Jess rolled his eyes and headed into the back. "Hey," he greeted Luke.

"How's it going out there?" Luke asked, as he opened up the oven to check the turkey.

"Okay, I guess," Jess replied, glancing out into the diner. "Rory keeps giving Nadia weird stares."

"What?" Luke asked. "That's ridiculous."

"Yup."

"You're imagining things," Luke accused.

Jess glanced out into the diner again. "See for yourself."

Luke took a peek into the diner. "Jeez!"

Jess nodded.

They heard the bell on the diner door ring, and the distinct voice of Emily Gilmore fill the room.

Jess grinned. "Guess who's here?"

"Shut up," Luke growled. "Just shut up."

"But she's your favorite person," Jess snickered.

"Jess…"

"And someday, she could be your mother-in-law."

Luke grabbed his plastic spatula and smacked Jess upside the head. "Shut up."

Jess flinched, but laughed. "What's wrong, Luke? Are you afraid of your new mommy?"

* * *

"How was the drive, Mom?" Lorelai asked.

"Fine," Emily replied, taking off her coat. "Just fine. The traffic was miserable, but it was fine."

Lorelai blinked. "Okay, Mom…"

She was about to go on, but there was a crash from the kitchen.

The assembled group turned around.

Lorelai gave a fake laugh. "Those crazy diner boys! Always doing something… crazy!"

"Boys?" Emily asked, confused. "There are two?"

Liz smiled. "My baby's here for Thanksgiving."

Emily stared, and then turned to Lorelai.

"Jess," Lorelai told her.

"Jess is here?" Emily snapped. "Jess? The same Jess who got Rory into that car accident, and then ran away without a word after they'd dated? Black-eyed, hoodlum Jess?"

"Wow," Nadia said. "Someone hide the cutlery, that woman is on a rampage."

Lorelai gave a warning look to the younger girl. "Mom, Jess is here to spend Thanksgiving with Luke and Liz and… that's Nadia, his girlfriend."

Before Emily could protest, Luke zoomed out of the kitchen, carrying three full plates of food. "Dinner's ready!"

"Wait," Lorelai said. She turned to her mother. "Is Dad coming?"

"No," Emily snapped. "Your father has a business meeting today."

Luke sighed and put the plates down on a large table. "Hello, Emily. It's nice to see you again."

"Hello, Luke," Emily replied. "So… where's that darling nephew of yours?"

"He's calling child protective services," Luke muttered.

"Excuse me?" Emily asked.

"He's fine," Luke told her. "He'll be out in a minute."

Nadia snickered. "Oh, Jess!"

"What?!"

She hopped down from her stool and walked over to the kitchen door. "Are you pouting?"

"No," he muttered as he picked up some plates.

"Would you like some help?"

He nodded. "Get the last few plates?"

She smiled and nodded.

* * *

"Luke, this is delicious," Liz smiled.

Jess cleared his throat. "So, Liz, where's TJ today?"

"He's up in Vermont with his Aunt Trudy," Liz replied. "He's still afraid to introduce me to the rest of his family. He wants to wait for the right moment."

"That's very thoughtful of him," Emily commented. "When are you getting married?"

"We're already married," Liz smiled.

Emily's face fell. "Oh…"

"Yeah, she picked a real winner this time," Jess quipped. "What is it he keeps calling himself?"

"An escrow," Luke supplied.

"Right," Jess snickered.

"Leave your step-father alone," Liz ordered.

"It's hard to believe she's been saying that for nineteen years," Jess muttered.

"You promised you would be a good boy today," Luke warned. "Don't make me follow through on my threat."

Jess sunk in his seat.

"So!" Lorelai smiled at Nadia. "Nadia, where are your parents today?"

"In Florida, visiting my grandfather," she replied.

Rory glared at her a little.

"Oh?" Emily asked. "Where in Florida?"

"Del Ray Retirement community near Boca Raton," Nadia replied.

"How nice," Emily said tersely. "Why didn't you go with?"

Nadia scratched the back of her head. "Well… he can't be around a lot of people anymore… he starts thinking he's back in 'Nam… giving orders… he once rolled on the floor, thinking he was on fire."

Everyone stared at her.

"Wildly inappropriate?" she muttered.

Jess nodded. "Yeah."

Nadia blushed. "Whoops… Great food, Luke!"

Sookie smiled. "Yeah, Luke, this is great… Turkey's a little dry though."

"Don't start, Sookie," Luke warned.

"I could give you a few tips on how to-"

"Turkey's fine, eat up," Lorelai cut in.

They sat in silence for a long while.

"So, Rory, how is school going for you?" Liz asked. "Lorelai talks about you and Yale all the time."

"It's going well," Rory replied politely. "Thank you for asking."

"Nadia, do you go to school?" Emily asked.

"I take a couple of night courses," she replied. "Between the coffee house and helping my dad at the shop, I'm pretty busy."

"You don't find school important?" Emily asked.

"I don't find it necessary," Nadia corrected. "I've learned a trade, I know what I'm gonna be doing with my life, and I'm happy with it." She ate some green beans and shrugged as she swallowed. "Besides, we don't have the money for college. Even if I lived at home, I'd be paying off loans till I'm fifty."

Emily stared.

Nadia's face fell. "Again with the wildly inappropriate?"

Jess smirked and took her hand. "Don't worry about it."

Rory rolled her eyes.

Jess shot her a look. "Y'know, it'd teach you lesson if your eyes got stuck that way."

She didn't' reply.

"It's nice to know you've grown as a person in these past couple of years," Jess muttered.

"Cut it out, Jess," Luke snapped.

"It's nice to see you're still totting around slutty girls," Rory snapped.

"Hey!" Jess cried.

"Oh, wow," Lorelai muttered.

"Whoa, so not a slut," Nadia interjected. "Very monogamous, thanks."

Rory snorted. "Right."

Jess got up. "Okay. It was nice seeing everyone."

Nadia pulled him back into his chair. "We're not leaving."

Jess sighed heavily. "She's jealous, and she's just trying to piss me off."

"Hey!" Rory cried. "Sitting right here!"

Nadia frowned. "Later, okay? We'll talk about it later… let's just eat."

The table became deathly silent.

* * *

They stood in front of the diner, a heavy wind blowing past them.

"Thanks a whole lot, Jess," Luke said sarcastically.

Jess sighed. "Rory started it. And Emily was attacking Nadia. I didn't say a word about that."

"You take half the blame for the fight with Rory," Luke told him. "And… thanks… for not saying anything to Emily."

Jess nodded. "You owe me."

"Jess."

Both men turned to see Lorelai walk out.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," Jess nodded.

"Listen… I'm… sorry… for the way Emily and Rory acted today." She had a hard time saying it, but there it was. "I don't know what got into them."

Jess nodded. "S'okay. I tend to bring out the worst in people."

"Won't argue there," Lorelai muttered.

"Play nice, please," Luke cut in.

Jess nodded. "We should probably get going."

"Where's Nadia?" Luke asked.

"Talking to Liz."

"Lucky you," Luke muttered.

Lorelai giggled. "I can't believe the pot joke Liz made to Emily… her eyes looked like they were going to fall out."

"The highlight of my evening was when Nadia spilled gravy in Rory's lap," Jess smirked.

"It was an accident," Luke commented. "Did you see how embarrassed she was?"

"That was half the fun," Jess smirked.

"Those were new pants," Lorelai pouted.

Jess snorted. "I'm sure her grandparents can buy her another pair… or eight."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, as Luke smacked Jess upside the head.

Nadia walked out with a large grin on her face.

Jess glared. "What did she tell you?"

Nadia giggled. "Exploded mac and cheese in the microwave?"

"Jeez," Jess rolled his eyes. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I guess," Nadia replied.

Jess nodded. "Okay. Let's get outta here."

Nadia smiled at Luke and Lorelai. "Thanks for having us. It was nice to see you again."

Lorelai smiled back. "You, too."

"And uh… Tell Rory I'll… reimburse her for the pants," Nadia said.

Luke sighed and turned to Jess. "Sorry this turned into such a crappy day."

Jess shrugged. "It's normal for us, remember?"

"You guys leaving already?" Liz asked, walking outside.

Nadia nodded. "Yup. Got work in the morning."

Liz hugged Jess tightly, and then took Nadia's hand. "Well, call me, okay? Maybe we can get together some time when TJ is in town."

"We'll see," Jess replied.

Luke dragged Jess into a short hug. "Call."

Jess nodded. "Next week."

"Bye, guys," Lorelai smiled, waving.

They watched the couple walk to the car, and Lorelai glanced back at the window, where Rory was watching as well.


	11. 10

A/N: I realize that a lot of you are pissed as shit about my characterization of Rory. And I understand. I really do. But please understand where I'm coming from: We saw Rory's face when Dean got married. She didn't look happy, and she didn't approve of the way Dean and Lindsay were living their lives. Rory has a thing about possession. "My Dean" she says. And I have a feeling it would be the same with Jess. Also note that Rory and Dean JUST broke up. Not only would Rory be jealous because Jess isn't hers anymore, but she'd be jealous because he is in a working relationship with someone else. And it's good, and they look happy. Why should Rory be nice? Nadia has with Jess what Rory never really had: A working, honest, fairly open relationship. I love Lit. I'm a lit through and through, but let's be fair: Their relationship on the show was pretty messy at times. So, yeah, Rory was being a bitch in 9.5. But I feel justified. So y'all are gonna have to live with it.

PS: For the person who claimed that Rory would never ever say anything mean? God, I hope you were being sarcastic.

On with the fic…

**Rudy Can't Fail #10**

"Hi! You've reached Nadia… except not… because… I'm not here. This is a machine. Yeah. Just… leave a message and I'll get back to you… someday soon… if you're lucky."

BEEP!

"Hey, Nadia. It's Jess. Listen, I'm taking off of work today, and I'm gonna be out of touch. I'll call you tomorrow." With that, he hung up.

* * *

"Jess!"

He sighed as Liz lunged at him for a hug. "Hi."

"What're you doing…" Liz pulled back and counted on her fingers. "Oh… I can't believe I did it again."

Jess sighed, obviously uncomfortable.

She frowned and threw up her hands in frustration. "I forgot again. My own father, and I just can't seem to remember."

"It's okay…" Jess tried. "It's… okay." He sighed. "Let's just go to Luke's."

Liz nodded, and grabbed her purse from inside. "TJ! GOING OUT!"

Jess heard a positive response from inside before he watched his mother close the front door.

"Let's go, Kid."

Jess nodded, and they walked off.

* * *

Liz opened the door to the apartment and looked around. "Luke?"

Jess rushed in after her. "Damn, it's cold out."

"Luke," Liz repeated. She walked back into the bedroom to find a large lump under the covers. "Big Brother…" She smiled and climbed onto the bed. "Luuuuke… Lukey… wake up…"

"Call me Lukey again, and I'll tell Jess every illegal thing you've ever done," Luke muttered from under the covers.

"Too late," Jess informed him, standing in the doorway. "She's already told me everything."

"No wonder you're such a head case," Luke replied, sitting up and throwing the covers back a little. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

"It's November thirtieth," Jess informed him.

"No shit," Luke replied. "Still doesn't explain what you're doing here."

"We thought you shouldn't be alone," Liz smiled.

"Yes, I should," Luke snapped. "Jess, you remember November thirtieth a couple of years ago?"

Jess nodded slowly. "You put me in a headlock."

"Yeah, I did," Luke confirmed. "Now, if you two don't mind, I'd like to be alone."

"I thought… maybe we could go to the cemetery," Jess muttered.

Luke stared at him. "Who are you and what have you done with my asshole nephew?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Fine, it's a bad idea."

"It is not," Liz chimed in. "It's a good idea." She turned to Luke. "We haven't been in a while."

"No, you haven't been in a while," Luke corrected. "I go all the time."

"Jess hasn't been since he was little," Liz pointed out.

Luke looked to Jess, who was staring down at his shoes. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Fine. Fine, we'll… we'll go. Just let me put some clothes on."

* * *

They stood close together to try and keep warm, Liz in-between the two boys. They stared down at the two graves.

"We shoulda brought flowers for Mom," Liz pointed out.

"I could go steal some from Babbette's yard," Jess offered.

"Don't make me hurt you," Luke replied.

"It was a nice offer," Liz reassured Jess, wrapping a hand around his arm.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Don't encourage him."

"How's Nadia?" Liz asked, turning back to Jess.

"Fine."

"You tell her where you are?" Luke asked.

"Left her a message," he replied. "Told her I'd be out of touch today."

"That's vague," Luke commented.

Jess scoffed. "Yeah? What'd you tell Lorelai?"

"The truth."

"Well, aren't you special," Jess muttered.

"Cut it out, you two," Liz scolded. "No headlocks this year."

They both muttered.

* * *

They spent most of the day walking around the cemetery, and then walked around town until nightfall, when they headed back to Luke's.

"What's for dinner?" Liz asked.

The boys gave her a look.

"Hey! You two are the cookers in the family," Liz smiled. "Get cracking. I'm hungry."

Jess rolled his eyes and made his way to the fridge. He glanced at the counter and stopped, picking up the pair of glasses that rested there. "Hey, Luke, getting old?"

Luke glared. "They're Lorelai's."

Jess smirked.

Luke groaned and snatched the spectacles from his nephew. "I'm gonna go give 'em to her."

Liz smiled. "You're so cute."

"You shut up," Luke told her. He looked to Jess. "You cook."

Both of them snickered as Luke shut the door.

* * *

Liz jumped when the door swung open and slammed shut.

"I can't believe her!"

Jess looked up from his plate of pasta. "What's your problem?"

"I just…" Luke paced the living room. "I told her I wanted to scrap that god-damned boat!"

"Boat?" Jess asked.

Liz got up. "What boat?"

"Dad's boat," Luke blurted out. "Mrs. Thompson is moving, and just told me the other day… I got mad… I told her to scrap the boat. Lorelai bought it."

"You were gonna scrap Dad's boat?!" Liz cried. "What's wrong with you?! He loved that boat!"

"What boat?" Jess asked again.

"It's been sitting there for fifteen years!" Luke argued. "No one has touched that boat in fifteen years!"

"It was Dad's boat!" Liz yelled.

"Like you even care!"

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Jess bellowed. "What boat?!"

Both adults stared at him.

* * *

Luke opened up the Gilmore's garage.

Jess stared in at the boat. "Huh."

"Your grandfather used to spend entire weekends working on this thing," Liz told Jess. "He loved it. He always promised to take us out on it when it was done."

Luke sighed.

"Lorelai did a good thing," Liz nodded. "I'm glad she saved it."

Jess shrugged. "It needs a lot of work." He walked further into the garage and hopped into the boat, looking around.

"Be careful, that's old," Luke warned.

Jess nodded, and hopped up and down a little. "Pretty sturdy. He did a good job."

Luke scratched the back of his neck. "I gotta get going, guys." He began to back out of the garage. "I'll see you guys later."

Jess nodded. "It's your turn to call."

Luke didn't hear him.

* * *

Liz sighed as she sat carefully on the couch that Jess had decided to crash on for the night. He was too tired to drive back, and she'd offered him a place to stay. He'd reluctantly agreed.

She opened up the photo album in her lap and smiled down at the picture there: A man who looked remarkably like an older Luke, holding a little boy of about four, standing in front of an unfinished boat.

Jess stirred in his sleep a little and Liz leaned back, certain that she wouldn't wake him.


	12. 11

**Rudy Can't Fail #11**

Jess groaned as the phone rang. "Dammit…"

He was buried under the covers of Jess's bed; one sheet and four blankets.

Jess reached over for the phone, and brought it underneath his ultra-warm cocoon. "Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hey, Luke."

"Where are you?" Luke asked. "You sound kinda muffled."

"I'm under my covers," Jess replied. "I have the superintendent from hell. It's been two weeks and he still hasn't fixed the heat."

"Jeez…" Luke muttered. "If you need someplace warm to stay, I can stay at Lorelai's and you can have the apartment, you know."

"Thanks, but I've got work," Jess replied. "And the roads are horrible. Driving to Stars Hollow isn't exactly the safest move."

"Right," Luke replied. "Nadia there?"

Jess sighed. "In the bathroom, taking a shower…using up all the hot water."

"You know, it's weird how alike we are," Luke commented. "Because if it were Lorelai in my shower, I would say the exact same thing."

"Are you trying to get me to picture your girlfriend naked?" Jess joked.

"Shut up."

"So how's the snow by you?" Jess asked.

"We got about three feet," Luke said. "And we had the annual reenactment."

"Old guys standing in the freezing cold?"

"Kirk put on a dress, and pretended to seduce Taylor," Luke corrected.

Jess bolted to an upright position. "Good god. Please tell me there's video."

"Lorelai has it," Luke chuckled. "I'll steal it for you."

"Thanks." Jess sighed and lay back down. "So…first snow dating a Gilmore. How was it?"

"She woke me up at three in the morning, and dragged my ass outside just as it started snowing," Luke grumbled.

Jess snickered. "It's your own fault."

"Shut up." Luke sighed. "Are you okay from New Years?"

"Yeah," Jess muttered. "It was just…hard going through all of Grandpa William's stuff…"

"I know," Luke said solemnly.

"Topped off with Rory being an idiot, and I just didn't feel very sociable."

"I don't want you to ever feel like you can't come see me because of her," Luke said gruffly.

"I don't," Jess replied. "Besides, I think I'm coming to visit next weekend. Mom wants to see me."

There was complete silence.

"Did you just call Liz…?"

"No," Jess replied quickly. "I called her Liz."

"You called her mom."

"I did not," Jess insisted.

"You haven't called her that since you were nine," Luke pointed out.

"I didn't call her mom," Jess snapped.

"Whatever you say, Jess," Luke placated. "Hey, I gotta go. Brave the roads if you get too cold," he ordered.

"Bye," Jess muttered. He hung up the phone and sighed, just as Nadia walked back into the bedroom.

She crawled under the covers and rested her head on his shoulder. "Hey."

He grunted.

"Who was on the phone?" she asked.

"Luke."

"Cool," Nadia smiled. "How's Stars Hollow?"

"Fine."

"My, aren't we talkative today?" she snickered.

"Just cold."

Nadia smirked and reached up, kissing him slowly. "I think I might be able to help with that."

He smirked back at her, and kissed her, pulling her closer.

xxxxxxx

"Guess what?" Luke said, as he set a cup of tea in front of his sister.

"What?" Liz asked with a smile, as she blew on the top of her mug.

"Well...don't tell him I told you…" Luke grinned. "But your son just called you Mom."

Liz smiled widely and sat back in her chair at the diner. "Huh."


	13. 12

**Rudy Can't Fail 12**

Jess handed Luke another nail as he watched him put up another shelf in the bathroom.

"Trust me, my friend," Luke said as he worked diligently. "You will thank me for this."

"I already do," Jess replied. " I hate tootie-fruity toothpaste."

"Tootie-fruity?" Luke asked. "Lorelai uses cinnamon."

"Count your blessings."

"So, did I tell you that Lorelai fixed my oven?" Luke asked.

Jess nodded. "You did."

"Did I tell you that I bought a TV for my bedroom so she wouldn't be bored?"

Jess blinked, and then shook his head. "That's just far too easy."

Luke glared. "Ha, ha." He sighed continued to work on the shelf. "Did I tell you that I got roped into going to Richard and Emily Gilmore's vow renewal?"

"No, you did not."

"They're renewing their vows," Luke repeated. "Lorelai is the maid of honor and Rory is the best man."

"She'll make a very lovely man," Jess commented. "You can tell her I said so."

"Who renews their vows?" Luke asked, ignoring his nephew. "It's just a stupid excuse to have a party."

"Any excuse to have a party is a good excuse," Jess pointed out.

"If my mother wanted to have a party she would just walk into Doose's and say 'Hey! I'm havin' a party!'"

"You do live in Stars Hollow," Jess said.

"Man, my mother could throw a party," Luke reminisced. "Nobody threw a party like Susan Danes."

"Didn't know her," Jess told him.

Luke nodded. "I know. She was a great lady. She woulda loved you."

Jess gave a slow nod.

"You woulda liked her, too," Luke added.

Jess paused, and then kept the conversation going. "I don't have a TV in my room."

Luke took the hint. "Yeah? Why not?"

"Better sex without Charlie Rose in the background," Jess nodded. "Nadia gets nightmares when they start talking about Nazis."

"Huh," Luke commented.

"Lucy! I'm home!"

Luke blinked at Jess. "She calls you Lucy?"

"Hi," Nadia said, swinging into the bathroom.

"Hey," Jess replied, pecking her on the lips.

She smiled. "Whatcha doin?"

"Nothing," Jess replied.

"Whatcha doin?" she asked again.

"Nothing," Jess repeated a little harsher.

"Whatcha-"

"Making a shelf!" Luke yelled. "Jeez! Stop asking already!"

"A shelf?" Nadia repeated. "Would this be a shelf for my tootie-fruity toothpaste…so I don't wake up in the morning to my boyfriend growling about 'god-damned, disgusting tootie-fuckin'-fruity toothpaste?"

"Yes, yes it would," Jess replied.

"Happy," Nadia grinned. "How are you, Luke?"

"Fine," Luke nodded. "You?"

"I'm good," Nadia replied. "How's Lorelai?"

"Also fine," Luke nodded again.

"And Rory?"

"She's gonna be a man," Jess told her.

"Well, that's exciting," Nadia replied, obviously a little confused.

Luke shook his head. "How are you, Nadia?"

"Good," she replied, wrapped an arm around Jess. "We're going to a concert tomorrow night."

"Yeah?"

Nadia nodded. "The Violent Femmes."

"The who?" Luke asked.

Jess smirked. "Just build the shelf."

"Sounds good."


	14. 125

**Rudy Can't Fail 12.5**

Something had been different.

He couldn't put his finger on it; not at all. But something had been completely different this time.

Maybe it was the fact that tonight was the first time in almost a month the heat in the building had been working.

He kissed her shoulder, and she shifted a little in her sleep.

No, he reasoned. It wasn't the heat. Well...not that type of heat, at least.

When was the last time he'd felt so…so…

His thoughts were interrupted by an urgent knocking on the apartment door.

Jess blinked and sat up, careful not to wake Nadia. He slid into his boxer shorts and an old t-shirt before padding out of his bedroom, to the front door. He looked through the peephole and blinked, before shaking his head and opening the door.

Rory Gilmore rushed inside past him.

He gave her a confused looked. "It's three in the morning."

"I know," she replied.

"Ssshh," he urged. "Nadia's sleeping."

Rory rolled her eyes. "We need to talk."

"We do?"

She nodded. "Now."

"It's three in the morning," Jess pointed out again.

"You said that already," Rory snapped.

"Fine, so talk."

She hesitated.

"Well?" he snapped impatiently.

"What's wrong with me?" Rory blurted out.

Jess narrowed his eyes. "Right now?"

She looked as if she were about to explode. "Dean dumped me three times! Three! You left! I didn't do anything and you just-"

"My leaving wasn't about you!" Jess cut her off. "Not everything is about you! And how many years have I been telling you that Dean is a jack-ass, huh! You're the one who keeps running back to him! Maybe you deserve what he dishes out!"

"Don't talk about him like that!"

"He cheated on his wife, Rory. What kind of a guy does that make him?"

She attempted to shrug it off, averting her eyes. "They were unhappy."

"Bullshit," Jess snapped. "He just wanted to get laid."

"And you didn't?"

Jess glared, and headed for the door. "And now you're leaving."

"Why, because it's true?" Rory accused.

"No you crazy idiot!" Jess yelled, whirling back to face her. "I was in love with you!"

Rory could only stare at him.

"And I'm not anymore," he went on. "I've moved on. I love someone else now."

He struggled a little with his next words. "I'm…I'm in love with Nadia."

Rory glared at him with a nod. "Thanks Jess, throw it in my face."

Jess groaned and knocked his knuckles against his own forehead. "Hello! McFly!" He sighed, trying to compose himself. "In a relationship, there is give and take. And you love to take. You don't like to give. And that's where you fail at relationships."

She gave him another glare. "Like you gave anything in our relationship."

Jess tilted his head at her. "I spent ninety dollars on a picnic basket! I got us Distiller's tickets! I gave you books, and CD's, I bought dinners. I went to those stupid town events with you! I made an attempt at going to your grandmother's! I'd rent movies…even the ones I hated, but knew you loved."

She stayed silent, looking away.

"Guess what, Rory?" Jess went on. "Before you, I'd only been in really casual relationships. I put everything I could into what we had. And you put in nothing. Which is why you got over it so fast, and I didn't."

"That's not true," Rory countered.

He sighed and walked to the door, opening it up again. "G'night, Rory."

She stared at him for a moment, before walking out slowly, without turning back.

Jess closed the door quietly and then walked over to sit on the couch. He slumped back, letting his head hit the back of it. He ignored the slight twang of pain it caused.

A moment later, Nadia sat next to him, and handed him a cup of hot coffee.

Jess eyed it warily, before slowly taking it with both hands. "This have alcohol in it?" he asked.

She nodded and took a sip f her own.

He watched Nadia for a moment, wondering how long she'd been awake. Long enough to make coffee, obviously.

"Hey, Jess?"

He glanced up from his mug, and at her face.

She gave him a small smile. "I love you, too."

He stared at her, feeling like he'd been slugged in the gut by something pretty.

She leaned in and kissed him softly, before getting up and walking back to the bedroom.

He sat in shock, and drank his entire mug down.


	15. 13

A/N: Okay, the first part of this chap takes place the night before Vow Renewal, while the Bachelor-ette party is happening,

**Rudy Can't Fail 13**

Luke sighed as he watched Babbette and Patty walk up the Gilmore's lawn to the front door. These women just kept coming.

He decided not to worry about it. He had a boat to work on, after all.

He sighed and kept sanding.

"Nice boat."

He jumped in surprise and dropped the sander again. "Jeez!"

Nadia lunged forward and picked up the sander carefully, turning it off. "Sorry about that. I thought you woulda heard me coming."

"Nadia?" Luke asked. "What're you doing here?"

"I was actually here fixing Miss Patty's piano…she's a long-time customer of my dad's."

Luke nodded. "So…"

"So, I finished, and then she tries to get me to come to some…bachelor-ette party…"

"Oh...Lorelai's mom is here, and she and Richard and renewing their vows tomorrow, so…"

Nadia gave nod. "Makes sense…anyways, Rory is in there, so I don't feel right…"

"Yeah, I understand," Luke replied, taking the sander from her. "Jess here with you?"

"No," Nadia replied, looking glum. "He's avoiding me."

"What?" Luke asked. "Why is he avoiding you?"

She sighed and crossed her arms. "Cause…he and Rory got into a fight the other night, and he told her he loves me…and then when she left, I said it back."

He gave her a confused look. "What was Rory doing at Jess's?"

Nadia shrugged. "I guess she was looking for a fight."

"They're idiots," Luke said with a shake of his head. He glanced at Nadia. "So you love Jess."

Nadia nodded.

"I don't know if anyone's ever told him that before," Luke told her.

Nadia stayed silent.

"My advice to you?" Luke asked. "If he's avoiding you, don't let him."

She tilted her head. "Don't let him?"

Luke smirked. "Something tells me you'll know what to do."

Nadia smiled a little and nodded. "I think I get it."

"I knew I pegged you for a smart girl," Luke commented.

Jess sighed as he opened the door to his apartment. He dumped his jacket on the couch, and then headed into the bedroom.

And there was Nadia.

"Hi," Jess said hesitantly.

She didn't look up from the copy of The Sun Also Rises that she held in her hands. "Ssshhh! I'm trying to understand what in hell this crazy man is talking about!"

Jess shook his head. "You're never gonna get it."

"Shush, I said."

"You read Harry Potter books," Jess pointed out. "You're never gonna get Hemmingway."

Nadia lowered the books. "You leave Harry out of this!"

Jess shook his head and started to take off his shoes.

Nadia sighed. "Are you done avoiding me now?"

"I'm not avoiding you," Jess replied.

"You don't return my calls, you pretend you're busy at work, and you won't take a lunch break with me," Nadia pointed out. "I ask you if you wanna get dinner, and you say you're busy. I offer a trip to that crazy thrift store you love and you turn that down, too…"

"I was busy," he muttered.

"You're avoiding," Nadia countered.

Jess sighed heavily, and sat on the bed in silence.

"I meant what I said the other night," Nadia told him.

He didn't reply.

"I did," she went on. "I do."

Still, he didn't reply.

Nadia sighed. "Okay…so, you didn't."

"What?" he asked, turning to face her.

"You didn't mean it when you said you loved me," Nadia replied. "That's fine. You just said it to piss off Rory."

"That's not true," Jess snapped.

"Then why the avoid-y?"

"Because I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do now to keep things from going to hell!" Jess yelled.

She stared at him for a long moment, before crawling over to sit beside him. "You do nothing."

"What?"

"You and I have worked so far, right? With what we are…how we are?" Nadia asked.

Jess nodded.

"Then why screw with a working formula?"

Jess blinked. "Nothing changes."

She shook her head. "Not really, no. I mean…whether you say it or not, I'm probably going to be telling you that I love you."

He nodded slowly.

"And I might call you pooky-bear."

He glared.

"Or Muffin-butt."

"Muffin?"

"Or Bunny-Baby."

"I'm starting to hate you," Jess commented.

"Aw, but you love me, Muffin-Butt."

Jess smirked a little. "Weird, weird girl."

Nadia smiled, and kissed him. "Yes. Now come explain this stupid book to me before I start eating the pages."

"Don't eat my book," Jess warned.

She dove for the paperback she'd left on the pillow. "I bet it tastes like chicken!"

He groaned and dove after her.


	16. 14

A/N: I am, unfortunately, not around to watch GG anymore, so I'm working from notes given to me by my friend buddy Fizzy! I love you! So if this sucks…well…blame it on my a capella rehearsals…

**Rudy Can't Fail #14**

"Jesus Christ," Jess grumbled as he tumbled out of his bed at three in the morning. "Not again…Swear if it's Rory I'm gonna kill her…" He stumbled out of his bedroom and to the front door. He swung it open, ready to kill whomever it was on the other side.

When he realized it was Luke, his angry expression melted quickly into confusion. "Luke…?"

The older man wobbled a little. "Hi."

Jess wrinkled his nose. "You're drunk."

"No, 'm not," Luke grumbled, pushing past Jess into the apartment.

Jess squinted tiredly. "What's going on…"

Luke shook his head. "Nadia here?"

"No," Jess replied. "She's at her place tonight. Apparently her roommate was having a quarter-life crisis…What are you doing here?"

"Just needed someone to talk to," Luke slurred.

"It's three in the morning," Jess snapped. "And you're drunk."

"I 'm no' drunk!" Luke hissed. "Now stop yelling…you'll wake up th' birdies 'er somethin'…"

Jess watched his uncle slump down onto the couch. "Luke…what happened?"

Luke sighed. "I broke up with Lor'lai…"

"What!"

"I did it!" Luke yelled. "I…broke up with Lor'lai Gilmore!"

Jess collapsed onto the floor with a thud and stared at Luke in confusion. "Why?"

"Because she lied to me!" Luke cried. "She lied! And her mother is the devil!"

"What did she lie about?" Jess asked.

"She went and go' drunk with Chris, an' she lied to me 'bout it," Luke told him. "She tol' me she had a headache, when she was out th' night before drinkin' with Chris. And she didn' tell me 'til Chris showed up at that stupid vow….thingy."

"Rory's dad was at the vow renewal?" Jess asked.

Luke nodded. "I didn' even wanna go, but she wante' be t' go, so I did. I hate that stuff…they made a total fool outta me…"

Jess nodded back. "Gilmores are good at that…So…why did you break up with Lorelai?"

"Because! I can' deal with it!" Luke replied. "I can'…God! She stole my message tape, and…"

Jess sighed. "You're not making sense anymore."

"Figures," Luke grumbled. "It's all Lorelai's fault!"

"Okay," Jess nodded again. He got to his feet and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "I'm gonna get you some blankets. You're not…Jesus, how did you get here? You didn't drive, did you?"

"Maybe…"

"Luke! You're drunk as hell! You don't drive when you're this drunk!"

"Whatever."

"I'm getting you stuff. Swear to god, if you ever do anything this stupid ever again, I'll kick your ass."

"Like t' see you try!" Luke spat.

Jess shook his head and grabbed a few extra blankets.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Luke groaned and struggled to turn over on the couch. "Where the hell am I?" he grumbled, cracking his eyes open.

"My sofa," Jess replied, sitting down on the coffee table. "I made you some tea."

Luke sat up slowly, and grabbed his forehead. "Jeez…dizzy."

Jess sighed. "Yeah, well…"

"I really made an ass outta myself last night, huh?" Luke asked, taking the hot mug of tea.

"Pretty much," Jess nodded.

"Jeez," Luke groaned.

"It's okay," Jess replied. "Just…don't…do the driving drunk thing again..."

The two men stared at each other for a long moment, before Luke nodded.

"So, where's Nadia?" Luke asked.

Jess shrugged. "Around. Probably at work. We're supposed to have dinner tonight, but…if you need-"

"No," Luke cut him off. "I've gotta get back."

"Things sound pretty bad," Jess remarked. "If you wanna lay low…"

"Things are bad," Luke confirmed. "The town has ribbons…pink for people on Lorelai's side…blue for people on my side…"

Jess snorted. "Amazing. They make everything about them."

"Yeah," Luke sighed. "Yeah, they do."

"You should move," Jess told him.

"I've been telling myself that for years," Luke grinned. He took a sip of tea and shook his head. "Never gonna happen."

"You love Lorelai," Jess said quietly.

Luke's jaw tightened.

"She seems to feel the same way," Jess went on. "Why not try and work things out?"

"Because it'd fail," Luke said. "Nobody wants us together."

Jess shrugged fluidly.

"Christopher…her parents…"

"They're all assholes," Jess said. "What do you care?"

"The town…"

"More assholes," Jess pointed out. "Get a clue, Luke."

Luke merely took another sip of his tea.


	17. 145

Notes: The game they are playing is called Apples to Apples. I was gonna not post for a while…but I'm a whore like that. So here.

**Rudy Can't Fail #14.5**

Nadia rolled up her sleeves and squinted at the seven noun cards in her hand. J. Edgar Hoover, the Statue of Liberty, the JFK Assassination, dust bunnies, mud, France and Wimbledon.

She glanced down at the green adjective card sitting on the coffee table. "What does Luke think is pretty?" she muttered. She bit her lip and placed her dust bunnies card face-down.

Luke eyes Jess, Nadia, and Nadia's roommate Annette, suspiciously before picking up the three cards they'd set down before him.

"What do I think is pretty?" he muttered as he glanced over the cards. He glared. "Who put down Brad Pitt?"

Annette giggled.

"It's not supposed to be what you think is pretty," Jess explained. "It's supposed to be what Luke thinks is pretty."

the blonde shrugged. "I thought it was a universal truth."

Luke shook his head read the remaining cards. "Dust bunnies, and..." he grinned.

Jess leaned forward and snatched up the adjective card to add to his growing pile.

"Hey!" Nadia cried. "No fair. He hasn't picked one yet!"

"I win," Jess replied.

Luke nodded and tried not to laugh. "Jess wins."

"What!" Nadia snatched the cards from Luke. She saw her own card, along with Jess's that read "swans." She didn't bother to read the description on the side. "Swans!"

"They're very pretty," Luke chuckled.

Jess snorted, and tried not to laugh.

"I am so lost," Nadia lamented.

"I'm blonde," Annette joked. "I'm always lost."

"I still have the ladle," Luke laughed.

Jess covered his face with his hands. "Jeez..."

Nadia sighed. "This means I'm gonna have to get Jess drunk again..."

"He got beaked!" Luke exclaimed, cracking up into laughter.

"Do NOT tell them," Jess snapped.

"Beaked?" Annette asked. "That sounds slightly dirty."

The phone rang and Jess spring up to get it. "Don't tell them," he repeated as he picked up the cordless phone in the kitchen. "Hello?"

"Jess?"

His eyes widened a little and he rushed into his bedroom. "Lorelai."

"Hi."

"Hi," he sighed awkwardly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she liked. "I'm okay...I just...Luke hasn't been in town for a the past couple of days."

"He's here," Jess replied gently.

"I figured," Lorelai replied. "I was just wondering how he was."

"He's okay."

"good," Lorelai said. He heard her try and smile. "Well, I guess I'd better-"

"Lorelai?"

"Yeah?"

Jess sighed. "He loves you...He's just an idiot."

"That's not hard to believe," Lorelai joked. "He's related to you."

"Zing," Jess smirked. "feeling better already, Mizz. Gilmore?"

"Bye, Jess."

"Bye," he hung up and shook his head. When he reentered the living room, both Nadia and Annette were staring at him in amusement.

Jess glared at Luke. "You told them!"

Annette and Nadia burst into laughter.


	18. 15

**Rudy Can't Fail #15**

Jess blinked at the large boat sitting in front of the diner. "That's…"

"Hey!" Luke called. "Why are you just standing out there?"

Jess looked from the boat to Luke, and pointed at the half-finished monstrosity. "Boat."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Inside, please."

Jess walked into the empty diner. "So, how did your play go?" he asked as he took a seat at one of the tables. The diner had obviously closed hours ago, due to Luke's involvement with the town's production of "Fiddler on the Roof."

Luke nodded as he sat down across from Jess. "Okay."

Jess stared at his uncle.

"What?"

"You miss Lorelai," Jess commented.

"Cut it out," Luke replied darkly.

"You did something stupid, didn't you?" Jess asked.

Luke sighed and leaned back. "I yelled at her…"

"Jeez…"

"I just…got mad," Luke muttered.

"And then?"

"And then we were backstage tonight," Luke went on. "And she was just standing there, and they were doing this stupid love song."

Jess squinted. "When the hell did we switch places?"

"What do you mean?" Luke asked.

"You're having problems with Lorelai, you yell at her, and then you feel depressed. You won't get back together with her, even though everyone knows you want to. I, on the other hand, am in a stable relationship. I mean, I'm even thinking about asking her to move in, and-"

"You're what!"

"Nothing."

"Jess…"

"What?"

Luke glared. "You're gonna ask Nadia to move in?"

"I didn't say that," Jess replied quickly.

"The hell you didn't," Luke snapped.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jess said.

"You wanna ask her to move in," Luke nodded.

"What's 'Fiddler on the Roof' about, anyways?" Jess asked, avoiding the topic. "I've never seen it."

"You and Nadia living together," Luke grinned.

"How was Kirk as the lead? I hear that beard looked ridiculous."

"Jess…"

"I bet the dress was funnier."

Luke shook his head and got up, walking to the stairs to the apartment. "Goodnight, Jess."

Jess gave Luke a wide smirk. "G'night." He waited for the other man to disappear before taking out his cell phone and dialing a number. "…Hey."

Nadia smiled on the other end. "Hi. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Jess nodded. "Luke just went to bed, so I thought I'd call."

"Sounds good," Nadia replied. "No trouble there?"

"No, not really," Jess said. "Luke is an ass, and he won't get back together with Lorelai…but other than that, nothing. Not even a Rory run-in."

"Good," Nadia sighed. "What're you gonna do if you see her?"

Jess shrugged and leaned back a little. "Nothing. It's her business if she wants to go at it with some pretty-boy, man-loving, ass-kissing Yalie SOB."

Nadia snickered.

"What?" Jess asked.

"You're cute when you're indignant," Nadia replied. "See you tomorrow night?"

Jess nodded. "Yeah."

"Bye," she said softly. "Love you."

"Yeah," Jess repeated. "I do, too…love you…I mean…"

Nadia smiled. "Night." She hung up, and Jess sighed

Jess held the phone in his hand for a moment, before shoving it back into his pocket.

Luke grinned as he stood in the stairwell. He shook his head and made his way up to bed.


	19. 16

A/N: this might just suck.

**Rudy Can't Fail #16**

The bell on the diner door sounded, and Lane looked up to see Jess and Nadia walking in. "Oh, no," she whispered. She rushed out from behind the counter. "I don't think you guys should be here right now."

Jess narrowed his eyes. "Why not?"

"LANE!" Luke barked from the kitchen. "WORK!"

"Bee in the boxers?" Nadia asked.

"Lorelai missage," Lane whispered. "May I suggest you go to Al's…or Jojo's…or Weston's? Or hey! You could go back to New York! Far, far away from-"

Luke stormed out from the kitchen, glaring at Lane. "I told you to get to work."

"Hi, Luke," Nadia smiled.

He grunted. "Take a seat."

One of the customers cleared his throat softly, and Lane, Luke and Jess turned to him.

"Excuse me," the man said. "My eggs are a little-"

"A little what?" Luke snapped.

"Oh, here we go," Lane muttered.

The man recoiled. "A little-"

"A little what?" Luke snapped. "What!"

Jess shook his head. "Luke-"

"You don't like your eggs, you can get the hell out!" Luke grabbed the man up by the collar and literally threw him out the door.

"Jeez!" Jess cried. "What the hell!"

"The guy doesn't like his food, he can go somewhere else!" Luke growled.

Nadia walked over and tasted the abandoned eggs. She wrinkled her nose. "Uh…Luke?"

Luke glared. "What?"

Nadia cringed. "Nothing."

Jess shook his head and pointed to the stairway. "Apartment. Now."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"I said upstairs, dammit!"

Luke glared. "You want me to throw you on your ass!"

"Try it, Butch," Jess said dangerously. "I dare you."

"God dammit, Jess!" Luke yelled. "Just take a god-damned seat! I'm not fighting you!"

Nadia tugged Jess by the hand. "How about we go help Caesar in the kitchen." She dragged him back into the kitchen and smiled. "Hi, Caesar!"

"Hey!" Caesar smirked. "Jess! Nadia! What're you guys doing here?"

"Playing hooky," Jess replied. "Need help?"

Caesar shook his head. "He won't let me cook. He's been making, and burning everyone's food."

"ALRIGHT!" They heard Luke yell. "THAT'S IT! EVERYBODY OUT! GO TO WESTON'S OR SOMETHING!"

The three of them stood in complete silence for a moment before Caesar sighed.

"You guys want something to eat?"

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

They were sitting on the floor of the kitchen, eating French fries and playing cards.

"You're cheating," Nadia accused.

Jess shook his head. "I'm not cheating."

"You are, you're cheating," Nadia giggled.

Caesar squinted. "Sssh. I think I hear someone besides Kirk out in the diner."

They stopped playing cards and listened carefully.

"You've won."

Jess got to his feet and glanced out from the kitchen to see Emily Gilmore. "Huh."

Nadia popped up next to him. "What?"

They watched Emily Leave.

"Mrs. Gilmore?" Nadia asked.

Jess nodded and walked out of the kitchen. "Hey, what was that all about?"

Luke turned around. "What?"

"Emily Gilmore."

"Nothing," Luke said tersely.

"What did she mean by 'you've won'?" Jess asked.

"Nothing."

Jess nodded. "Get out."

Luke blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Go to Lorelai's," Jess snapped. "Now."

"Hey!" Luke snapped back.

Nadia rushed up the stairs and came back down with Luke's jacket. She smiled and handed it to him. "Good luck!"

Luke stared at the young couple for a long moment before snatching his jacket and leaving.

Nadia smiled and watched him.

Jess shook his head. "Jack-ass."

She wrapped her arms around his elbow and rested her head on his shoulder. "I think it's romantic."

"In a very mentally challenged type of way," Jess replied.

Nadia merely smiled again.

"Hey, Nadia?"

"Hmm?"

Jess cleared his throat. "You uh…you wanna move in with me?"

She lifted her head off of his shoulder and stared at him. "Really?"

He nodded.

She smiled widely and kissed him. "Yeah."

"Yeah?"

Nadia kissed him again.


	20. 165

**Rudy Can't Fail #16.5**

Jess looked up as he reached the front counter of the Stars Hollow bookshop. He stopped. "Rory…"

She stared at him. "I don't wanna fight with you. Just give me your books to ring up."

He shrugged and handed over the small stack of books.

She began ringing them up in silence.

She rang.

And rang…

"Rory?" Jess asked.

"Leave me alone, I've got it," she snapped.

Jess sighed and leaned over to see the register. "We've got the same one back home. Want help?"

"Not from you."

Jess shrugged. "Fine."

She kept trying to open the drawer, and then looked around, but Andrew was nowhere in sight.

"Want help now?"

Rory sighed. "Yes…please."

Jess nodded and walked behind the counter, squeezing in next to her, feeling surprisingly comfortable. The tension that had been there in the past was no longer an issue. He fiddled with the drawer, and pressed the enter button, until it finally clicked open.

"Thanks," Rory said quietly.

"No problem," he replied, moving away and back on the other side. He pulled out some cash and handed it to her.

"So," Rory said, still quiet. "How are you?"

"Can't complain," he replied. "You?"

"I'm good."

Jess nodded. "Good."

Rory nodded back. "Yeah…good." She sighed. "Listen…about that night…when I just…showed up…"

Jess shrugged. "What night?"

Rory opened her mouth, but he just slid the books from the counter.

"Bye, Rory."

"Bye, Jess."

She watched him walk out, and meet Nadia halfway across the street. Rory smiled when Jess handed Nadia a book. Nadia kissed him quickly, before tugging him in the opposite direction.

Rory's phone rang and she sighed before picking it up. "Hello?"

"Morning, Ace!"

"Logan, it's the middle of the afternoon."

"And guess who just woke up?"

She shook her head and looked out the window, watching Jess drag Nadia in another direction. She heard the other girl laugh loudly, and shook her head.


	21. 17

**Rudy Can't Fail #17**

"So let me get this straight," Jess said, trying to hold back laughter. "You…lost the ribbon war with Lorelai…You bought a Reggae CD…you found Kirk, naked, in Lorelai's garage, and Emily Gilmore showed up at the diner again, to tell you off about…uhm…not getting back together with Lorelai, even though you already did?"

Luke nodded as he carried a box of CD's up to Jess's apartment. "That about sums it up."

"And then Lorelai told her to shut up?"

"That she did," Luke nodded again.

"That's some week," Jess commented as he opened his door and set down the box he'd been carrying.

"How was yours?" Luke asked as he sat on one of the two couches that now inhabited the small living room area.

"I worked…I tried to get Nadia to pack…I worked some more…I read about three books…and I wound up packing most of Nadia's stuff."

"What?" Luke asked.

Jess sighed. "It turns out, that when it comes to packing, my girlfriend is the biggest procrastinator in the entire world."

"Oh, yeah?"

"She would spend about ten minutes packing, and then remember some weird thing she had to do," Jess explained. "She packed three pairs of jeans, and then curled her hair…she packed part of her movie collection and then had to go out and buy a metronome."

"That's…"

"Freakish?" Jess asked.

"Don't tell me you're having second thoughts," Luke teased.

"No," Jess replied stubbornly. "I just…" He sighed. "I've never done this before."

"First time for everything," Luke replied. "I've never been yelled at by Emily Gilmore before."

Jess tried not to laugh.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry," Jess chuckled. "It's just…you're Luke. You yell at everybody. You've kicked entire rooms full of people out into the cold…just the image of that woman yelling at you…"

"Don't joke," Luke snapped. "A couple of years ago that could have been your fate."

Jess sighed. "And now I have Rita Henderson asking what we plan on naming her grandchildren."

"I really gotta meet Nadia's parents sometime."

"I don't know about that," Jess warned. "They're pretty different from us…and her sister? Scary."

"Sheila, right?"

Jess nodded. "Sheila. Crazy girl; likes to pinch cheeks."

"Ow," Luke muttered.

The door opened and closed and Nadia walked in, carrying a couple of bags. She looked over the room and grinned from ear to ear. "We have two couches."

"How many times is she gonna say that?" Luke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"God only knows," Jess replied.

Nadia plopped down on Jess's lap and smiled. "Two couches. I've never had two couches before." She turned to Jess, her grin still in place. "We could build a fort with two couches!"

"We could."

"Can we build a fort?" Nadia asked.

Jess shook his head. "We've got a bedroom."

"But forts are fun," Nadia pleaded. "We can turn off all the lights and sit there and…"

Jess raised an eyebrow. "And…?"

"You're right," Nadia shrugged. "We have a bedroom."

Luke's cell phone rang and he sighed as he dug it out of his pocket. "Hello?"

He heard Lorelai smile from the other. "Hi!"

Luke smirked. "Hey." He mouthed "Lorelai" to Nadia and Jess.

Nadia made kissing noises, and Jess rolled his eyes.

Lorelai snickered. "Hanging out in New York, huh?"

"Nadia moved the rest of her stuff into Jess's apartment today," Luke explained. "Thought I'd help…and, y'know, mock."

"Good plan," Lorelai said. "You gonna be around tonight?"

"Most likely," Luke replied.

"You gonna drag those crazy, crazy kids back with you?" Lorelai asked. "I wanna mock Jess for being able to commit."

"You're a cruel woman," Luke shook his head. He sighed. "If they're not too busy, I might bring them along."

"We have two couches!" Nadia yelled, loud enough for Lorelai to hear.

"They have two couches," Lorelai repeated.

"Two couches?" asked a voice on Lorelai's end.

"Rory's there with you?" Luke asked.

"She is," Lorelai said. "We're doing lunch."

"Ah," Luke nodded. "Tell her I say hi."

"I say hi, too," Jess chimed in.

Nadia smiled. "Oh! Me, too! Hi, Rory!"

Lorelai laughed. "They say hi."

"Hi," Rory's voice sounded again, this time with a tinge of laughter.

"She says hi," Luke told the couple on the other couch.

Nadia smiled, and then looked around. "Two couches!"

Jess shook his head and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend. "Crazy."

She kissed his forehead. "Sorry."

Luke sighed into the phone. "I'll let you ladies get back to your lunch and see what I can do about getting Nadia unpacked."

"Good luck," Lorelai smiled. "Bye."

Luke hung up his phone and then turned to Jess and Nadia. "So…unpacking."

Nadia nodded, and then something like realization dawned on her. "Dry cleaning!" She hopped up from Jess's lap and headed for the door.

Jess groaned. "Here we go again."

Luke smirked and shook his head.


	22. 18

Hiatus over. This is getting going again.

Rudy Can't Fail Chapter 18

"You're gonna lose," Annette giggled as she slurped her soda.

Jess rolled his eyes and steadied his bowling ball. "Shut up, Annette."

Nadia grinned. "I wonder what would happen if I pinched his butt right now."

Her sister rolled her eyes. "Please don't. I'd like to keep my dinner in my stomach."

"Ladies and gentlemen, my wife Sheila," her husband, Travis announced.

"Will you guys shut up?" Jess snapped. "I'm trying to bowl!" At that moment, his cell phone rang, and he dropped his bowling ball out of surprise. "SHIT!" He turned away as the ball rolled slowly down the lane and pulled out his cell phone. "What!"

"Jess?"

"Luke?"

Nadia, Annette, Travis and Sheila all watched the ball roll slowly toward the pins.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just need to talk to you," Luke replied.

The group watched as Jess's ball knocked over all ten pins, and then they started screaming.

"OH MY GOD!"

"THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE!"

"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!"

"I love my boyfriend!"

Jess turned back around to the bowling lane and blinked. "Well, son of a bitch…"

"Jess? You there?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Hold on, I gotta get away from my girlfriend and her crazy buddies." He kissed Nadia on the cheek on his way out of the bowl-o-rama. When he was safely standing outside on the sidewalk he pulled out a cigarette. "So, long time no talk."

"Yeah," Luke agreed. "Sorry it's been such a long time…I just got real busy and-"

"Me, too," Jess cut him off. "So how are things in the world of Luke?"

"I uh…" Luke sighed. "Jeez, I'm just gonna come right out and say it…Lorelai and I are engaged."

The cigarette he had placed in his mouth fell to the ground, and he stood completely still.

Luke blinked. "Jess? Jess…you there?"

"Yeah…did I hear you right?"

"Lorelai and I are getting married."

"Huh."

"That's all you can say?"

"Congratulations?"

"That's better."

Jess blinked and picked up his cigarette, twirling it in his fingers. "So…wow…that's…sudden."

"You're tellin' me! One minute we're talking about how Rory's not going to college, and what we're gonna do about it, and the next minute we're celebrating with Zima."

Jess cracked a grin. "You drank-" It faded. "Wait…Rory's not going back to Yale?"

"Some…guy told her she didn't have what it takes to be a journalist, and she stole a boat and now she's living in Emily and Richard's pool house, and she's not going back to college."

"How very OC of her," Jess muttered.

"You did not just reference that."

"Annette and Nadia watch it every Thursday night," Jess grumbled. "It's not my fault." He paused. "So she's really dropping out of school."

"Looks like it."

"I thought that was my job."

Luke groaned. "This isn't funny, Jess. This is serious."

"So she's taking time off," Jess said. "She'll come to her senses."

"That's what I thought about you when you were cutting class," Luke snapped. "'He's a smart kid. He'll come around and realize how important it is…'"

"Rory and I are two different people."

"Lately, she's acting like you, circa 2002."

"How is Lorelai taking all of this?" Jess asked, changing the subject.

"She says she's fine with it, but she's lying," Luke sighed. "She looked really upset when I gave her the engagement ring."

"Well, Rory's living with the people she tried really hard to keep Rory away from," Jess said. "I can see how that might be upsetting."

"Are you sympathizing with Lorelai?" Luke asked, confused.

Jess paused. "No."

"You are! Wow. Never thought I'd see the day."

Jess rolled his eyes, and watched Nadia and her friends walking out the door. "Hey, I gotta go…call me next week or something, okay?"

Luke smirked. "Yeah. I'll do that."

"Bye." He closed his phone and looked over to his group. "We done?"

"You won," Travis said. "I don't know how the hell you did it, but you won."

Jess smirked and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Talent."

Nadia wiggled her eyebrows at him as she latched onto his arm. "Why don't we go home, so we can put your talents to better use?"

Jess sighed. "Work, work, work…"

"Oh, gross!" Sheila cried.

"You're grosser," Nadia giggled. She took Jess's hand and led him to the car. "Bye, guys!"

Annette smiled and waved. "Bye, lovebirds! See you Thursday for some OC!"

Jess groaned as he followed Nadia.

"So, how's Luke?" she asked.

"How'd you know it was Luke?" Jess countered, unlocking the door.

"You never stay on the phone with anyone who isn't Luke for more than a minute," Nadia pointed out. "So?"

Jess smirked as he got into the car. On the way home, he recounted the main points of the conversation.

Nadia frowned. "Rory's not going back to school?"

"Nope."

"Because some guy said she doesn't have what it takes to be a journalist?"

"Yup."

"That's stupid."

Jess nodded. "You know, when I first met her, she wouldn't let anything get in the way of the whole journalist thing. I mentioned to her once that I didn't think she really had it in her, and she snapped at me. This isn't like her to just give up. She's wanted this since she was little."

Nadia frowned again. "That's sad. Maybe she'll just get over this."

"I hope," Jess replied.

Nadia's frowned turned into a grin. "Luke and Lorelai are getting married."

"Looks that way."

"Does that mean I get to wear a pretty dress?" Nadia asked. "I like going out and finding pretty dresses."

Jess nodded again. "Yeah, you'll probably get to wear a pretty dress."

"Yay!"

When they made it back to their apartment, Jess automatically shut the door and caught Nadia's lips with his, backing her up toward the bedroom.

"My, aren't we eager?" she teased.

"You're the one who wanted the use of my talents," he reminded her.

She grinned and kissed him again, letting her arms wrap around him.

And then the there was a very loud pounding on the door.

Jess blinked. "What the hell?"

"Open up, Mariano, I know you're in there!"

Nadia blinked at her boyfriend. "Something you wanna tell me?"

Jess let go of her, and walked to the door, opening it up. "Paris."

"Jess." She pushed past him into the apartment.

"How the hell do you know where I live?"

"I have my ways," she replied tersely. "We need to talk."

"I'm a little busy," he replied, gesturing towards Nadia.

"Harpy of the week?" Paris asked, sizing the other girl up.

Nadia's eyebrows rose, and she held out her hand in greeting. "Nadia Henderson. Long-time, live-in girlfriend. And you are…?"

"Paris Gellar," she snapped. "I need to talk to your boy here."

Nadia gave Jess a confused look.

Jess shrugged back. "I have no idea."

Nadia gave a nod. "I'll be waiting in the bedroom."

Jess sighed, disappointed, and then turned to Paris. "What?"

"Rory's not going back to school."

"I'm aware."

"You have to do something."

Jess stared silently.

"Well!" Paris cried. "You have to do something!"

"No, I really don't," Jess replied. "Rory and I are…barely friends…we're…Jeez. We're not in each other's lives anymore. She's gonna do what she's gonna do."

"No! This is all Logan's fault, and you have to do something!"

Jess squinted. "Logan? The boyfriend?"

Paris nodded.

"What do you want me to-No." Jess stepped back. "No way. I have a girlfriend, and a life, I am not putting myself in-between her and another boyfriend."

"Oh, come on…"

"We are not seventeen anymore!" Jess cried. "And I'm not in love with her anymore! God! How many times do I have to tell you people!"

"I just need you to cause a ruckus!" Paris pleaded. "I don't want you to woo her! Just…sway her!"

"No."

"Please?" Paris asked.

"No," he said firmly. "Go home."

Paris glared. "Fine. But if she winds up flipping burgers for a living, just remember that it's all your fault." With that, she twirled on her heel, and stormed to the door, slamming it behind her as she left.

Jess sighed wearily and walked into the bedroom, where Nadia was sitting on the bed.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," he replied.

"You look sad," she observed.

He nodded. "Just tired."

She smiled sympathetically. "We could watch a movie? Almost Famous…your favorite."

He gave her a small grin and nodded.


	23. 19

Rudy Can't Fail #19

Jess sighed as he washed the potatoes for dinner. "So Lorelai got a dog, and named it Paul Anka…and Nadia got a cat…and named it Ms. Kitty Fantastico."

Luke blinked as he chopped up other vegetables. "Ms. Kitty…what?"

"I really don't know," Jess shrugged. "So how are you?"

"I'm…busy."

"Huh. Descriptive."

"Well, we're remodeling Lorelai's house, which, your step-father is making a mess of, by the way."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Big surprise. We're talking about TJ here."

"You mean AJ," Luke corrected.

"Huh?"

"Don't ask." Luke sighed. "And I told Rory that Lorelai and I are engaged."

Jess stopped washing the potatoes. "You told Rory."

"Yup."

"You."

"Yes."

"You told Rory?"

"I told Rory."

"Why the hell did you tell Rory?" Jess asked, obviously confused.

"Because Lorelai sure as hell wasn't gonna do it," Luke replied. "She's really mad at her."

Jess shook his head. "I guess so…so they're really just not speaking."

"Not at all."

"Jeez." Jess blinked. "Wait…we need to backtrack. You hate dogs."

"I do hate dogs."

"But…Lorelai got a dog, and…you hate dogs," Jess repeats.

"Yup."

"But you're remodeling Lorelai's house so you can live there," Jess argued. "And the dog is gonna live there too…and you hate dogs."

"Wash the potatoes, Jess."

ooooooo

Lorelai petted the cat warily. "Well…it hasn't bit me yet…"

Nadia smirked. "She doesn't bite," she replied, picking up the fuzzy black and white feline. "She's cute." She cuddled the animal. "So cute. So very, very cute."

Lorelai snickered. "And how does Jess feel about Ms. Kitty Fantastico?"

Nadia grinned. "They like each other."

Lorelai blinked. "Wait…Jess enjoys a cute and cuddly being?...well…he liked Rory…and he likes you…so I guess that makes some sense…some…not much, but some…"

"Oh, he's not so evil," Nadia smirked, setting Ms. Kitty down and letting her roam on the couch. "Speaking of, how is Rory?"

Lorelai shrugged. "Fine."

"She working this summer?"

"Something like that," Lorelai muttered.

Nadia nodded. "Well, good." She smiled. "Maybe we can get her up here for dinner one night or something."

Lorelai started to tear up. "I don't think so."

"Oh…" Nadia frowned. "What's wrong?"

Lorelai sniffled. "I'm sorry. Things are really rough with Rory right now…we're not speaking."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Nadia replied, putting a hand on her arm. "That's awful."

Lorelai wiped tears away. "It is. It's really awful. I really miss her. We keep fighting. I didn't even bother to tell her that Luke and I were engaged…"

Nadia nodded understandingly. "Well, if you're fighting, it stands to reason that pleasant communication would be cut off…"

"But she expected me to tell her," Lorelai replied, getting more upset. "I tell her everything. And she doesn't tell me anything anymore…because she's not my problem anymore. She wanted to live with her grandparents, so that's what she's doing. And I hate it. I tried so hard to keep her away from them, and make sure that she stayed level-headed, and down to earth, which is something that they have never been, and it blew up in my face. They live in a vapid vacuous world, that's narrow-minded and blind to everything else, and everyone else, and I never wanted her to be part of that. I never wanted her to be so selfish, and now she is, and I don't know what to do."

Nadia bit her lip, and looked to the kitchen doorway, where Luke and Jess were standing. Ms. Kitty Fantastico settled in Lorelai's lap as she cried, and Luke came over to sit next to her. Jess stayed where he was, watching awkwardly, his fingers fiddling with the cell phone in his pocket.

Nadia nodded to him, and he turned around and walked out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, closing the door.

He sighed and took out his cell phone, dialing a number quickly.

"Hello?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Jess?"

"You steal a yacht, you drop out of school, you move in with your grandparents, and you treat your mother like dirt!"

"That's not how it is!" Rory cried.

"Then how is it, Rory?" Jess snapped. "Let's here it. Tell me a story. How is it?"

"It's…it's more complicated than that! You wouldn't understand!"

"Why? Because you're living with the Vanderbilt's now!" Jess cried. "Come on, Rory. Get your head out of your ass!"

"I'm hanging up now!"

"Won't change the fact that your head is stuck where the sun don't shine."

With that, he received a dial-tone as a response. He sighed and threw the cell phone on his bed.


End file.
